Is it wrong to wish my mother-in-law would pass away?
My partner and I lost our jobs last year and then our home to foreclosure as a result. After losing our home, we had to move in with my mother-in-law to take care of her because she has COPD from smoking for so many years, is on oxygen 24/7 and can barely walk. We help her to the bathroom, prepare her meals and do everything for her.
She has a bell that she rings if she needs to go to the bathroom at night.
She refuses to follow her nurse's instructions to walk 3 times a day insisting that she's tired and complains about every little thing.
Our lives are consumed with caring for her and we can't leave the house more than 2 hours without her calling and asking when we're coming back.
We were invited to a local Christmas party given by friends and we told her we were going to go. She said okay but to make sure the door was locked because she's afraid to be alone and to call her to let her know when we'll be back. We ended up not going and she said she was glad because she didn't want to be alone.
I feel like we went from the frying pan into the fire. With no income (I can not find work), caring for her and no home to call our own, I keep wishing she would pass away so we could be free. Each time she gets up to go to the bathroom and her oxygen leave goes down, I keep wishing it won't go back up. Does that make me a horrible person? I feel so guilty about it.
I feel like we having nothing to look forward to and I'm so sad that we lost our home, my beautiful garden and my wonderful neighbors in NJ and now we're living in Ohio caring for a woman who is negative and demanding.