My mother wants to do nothing but lie around in bed all day, watch TV and sleep. I don't think it's healthy, but should I just let her be?

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I just saw this. I'm beginning to think *I* am starting to fit this description! Winter. Retired husband boring me/bugging me all day long, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. He won't leave the house unless it's over 70 degrees! He won't get any more pets as 'they will outlive us'. ...No family, few friends, no grandchildren, no job. I shop, go on FaceBook, read, watch a ton of tv. Just waitin' to die, I guess!
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Yes. She's been "doing" her whole life. If that's the way she wants to spend HER time, let her!
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I wonder if diagnosing depression in the elder generation has such a stigma that the label is counter-productive? Perhaps calling it a serotonin deficiency or some other sort of deficiency would be more palatable? Some wear certain diagnoses like a badge of honor (validates them) - other's would rather suffer than be assigned certain diagnoses.
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I have a mother that does nothing but lie in bed all day and get up to eat. If my father, who is 87, wants to do something, she says she is not well and can not go. She makes him cancel outings that he has arranged. She complains constantly that she is not well, and if you have something wrong with you, she's had it worse and more. She's been like this since I was quite young. She would lie in bed until we came home from school at 4:00 and then would have to get her up.
My mother has slept her life away and is dragging my father down health wise. He believes every lie she tells him about her health and has on many occasions checked on the internet for symptoms before going to the doctor's with her self diagnosis.
There is no helping her because she wants to be sick for the attention. She is slowly killing herself by sleeping her life away. I'm sure she will pass in her sleep from a heart attack.
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Let her be. Enjoy the TV with her and bring her some great snacks. She may not be "depressed", she's old!
Lay off the Prozac.
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Yeah, that depression is an ugly disease of it's own. Especially if the right medication won't be taken or can't be found, as it does indeed help. God speed, and I hope there's a light at the end of your tunnel for you all.
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I'm grateful to see so many people here are experiencing the same thing I am: caring for an elderly parent who's mired in depression. My 71 year old father underwent a very serious operation 1 year ago and recovery has been slow. He's regained much of his mobility but constantly complains about his shortness-of-breath, physical limitations and upcoming dialysis sessions. He's a wonderful man, but he's often held captive by his own fears and frustrations, paranoia (worries all the time about our safety, as he's not as strong as he was before), past regrets and of course the big commitment required for constant dialysis (no travelling, loneliness). It's so true what people here have said; you can't really bring anyone out of their depression. My father REFUSES to come out of it, no matter what I try to involve him with. He's convinced it's the end of the world for him, and as much as my mother and I try to convince him we should consider ourselves lucky we still have him, he won't listen ... or at least, won't listen for long. Sigh. I suppose the only thing I can really do is move on with my life and not let it crash my own ambitions.
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hi reba ,
my mother passed away due to cancer when i was 25 years old , she wanted to go meet her master and didnt want no treatments , she was only 64 when she died . bless her heart ,
yes i am going to keep on carin for dad cuz he is the only parent i have left . he s a sweet heart . im 47 yrs old and my back is not no sweet heart . back ache like a tooth ache by liftin him to recliner to the wheel chair and to bathroom and so forth . bless his heart he tries so hard to help me so my back wouldnt hurt , he fears going back to nursing home if my back goes then he would have to go to nursing home .
he tries so hard to help me and my back . today my back feels better . wink ...
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lhardebeck, I took care of my dad. He had cancer and ended up in a wheel chair. My dad called me out of 8 of his kids and ask if he could come and stay with me. I was happy to take him in. He lived 6 weeks. He was an angel and never a cross word, no matter how he felt. So much pain. My mom died when I was 15. She had a heart attack and went fast. I thank God for that. Both of my parents were the best and I couldn't have found a better mom and dad.
Enjoy you dad, at 86 he may not be here long. God will bless you for taking care of him.
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my 86 years old dad too sits and watch tv all day long and eats when i give him his meal . he s either sleeping or watching tv or just be hollarin .
he did good and tried his best at rehab only cuz he wants to go home and do nothing . i told him if he passes and is walkin then he could come home so he did but is having trouble walkin , leans more to his left , (stroke) .
i told him my house is boring and rehab nursing home is a great place , activies and people to talk to . he growled said oh no no . he is not people person , he rather be with his families . and his recliner and tv ,. he is the boss and he is a man , i let him do what he wants to do , if sitting and watching tv makes him happy then im happy .
i eat breakfast with him , he sees me eat so he will eat , same thing for lunch and supper , night time we get a small bowl of icecream , he likes that .
we get along great , if he dont feel like excerising his legs then thats fine with me , i dont pressure him cuz it will only bring him down and be more depress , let him be lord he s 86 yrs old and had a long rough life , leave dad alone and let him be . its peaceful ....
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