There is an upcoming party and I can't handle it.

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I don't feel good tonight. there is a big problem going on in my family I can't handle it i'm too tired to write about what going on. gist is there is a big family party coming up at my sisters and she didn't tell me about it beforehand and I am supposed to go but I can't because I feel too threatened by her husband and kid who are all against me. there is more to it... I am just oo tired to go into it more now. I want to give up. she organized this party behind my back knowing that it would be h*ll for me to attend. if I don't though whole extended family will think I am an a**hole because they don't know what is going on behind the scenes in my family. I have to decide in the next 24 hours if I am going to go. she got me real good on this one. so devious. I hate her. my brother will also be there and I haven't seen him in 20 years and last time I saw him he physically assaulted me which she also knows. I probably won't go and then everyone will think I am an a**hole and a coward but they don't know what is going on and it's not appropriate to tell them. this is all too much for me. I can't handle my mom bringing by b*tch sister back into my life. and my mom doesn't give sh*t about how awful my sister is. sorry for the cussing. my therapist isn't available in time to talk to about this. arrrhhggg.


p.s. what would you do? do you think I should go to the party and try to make the best of it or just skip it. there's more too it, I'm supposed to go because relatives from out of town are coming in who no one has seen for a long time and that's why it would be incredibly rude of me not to attend. I have nothing against them but my sister set it up so I have to deal with her and her posse to come to the party. she just set this up without telling anyone beforehand, even my mom who is the sister to the relative who is coming in. it should have been my mom's call what we do as a family for this visit not my sisters and she should have at least talked to my mom about it before making plans.
please help me. I feel very threatened and alone. I feel like the people around me are crushing me.
Make the best decision for you, and only you know what that is.
I don't think it's fair to me to be in the high pressure of a situation. I NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE AND CARE FOR ME, NOT BE THREATENING and cruel. there is a point where I don't want to be here anymore and i'm getting near it. MY FAMILY IS GARBAGE. I HATE ALL OF THEM. why don't I ever get to have one person in my life who genuinely cares about me and will support me. I am not going to kill myself but I don't want my mother here anymore. she keeps bringing that horrible witch around here. I don't deserve that.
1) Don't go to the party. Too much negative there.
2) Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Do what is best for you.
3) What is happening in your efforts to get Mom out of your house? That is your most important mission right now.
4) When is the next time you see your counselor? Make notes about these stress episodes to discuss then.

Hang in there.
There will be other parties or events where you may feel more comfortable in going to when you feel the time is right. Doesn't sound like the time is right, so think about something else that works for you at that time. Don't worry about not going to the party. Parties only last for a day or so, and then people go onto the next week. yea, big family or social events, trying to get everyone together is typically a stressful social event that you have to expend a lot of energy pleasing other people you either do not share their opinions or make the most of it. People ask a lot of questions a lot of times and it can put you off your game a bit, on the defensive, so stay on offense and spend the time doing something you like to do. Most people don't like to go to parties or events where they don't seem like they will be that much fun. Go watch a new movie, read a new book or spend the time learning something new. Make yourself a priority.
Absolutely not! You cannot go, never to a place where there will be people toxic to you or where someone is who had assaulted you!
The information you have presented here is enough to be able to tell that you would be putting yourself in harms way. Your R.S.V.P. could look like this:

"Absolutely cannot attend, have made other plans."

NFD: means no further details.

No, you will not be going. If you see your therapist before going, ask him/her to lock you up on a 5150 hold to prevent you from making this mistake.
OR, You can proudly go in and report that you did not go, thereby taking the huge step towards getting well on your own! With a little help from your secret forum friends.

Ok Annabelle?

Annabelle, I have a toxic sister. She just recently e-mailed the family suggesting we get together for Lunch. I decided last time I was in her company that being in her presence is not good for me and chose to completely ignore her invitation. From what I gather everyone else has as well. You need to do what is best for you and your mental health Annabelle. Concentrate on that person between your ears! YOU! Who cares what they think.

There is something I heard once that is so true. It goes something like this.

-When we are in our twenties we worry about what people are thinking about us.
-When we are in our thirties and forties, we don't care what people think about us.
-In our fifties and beyond, we realize no one was thinking about us at all.

Also, when we think someone is giving us a dirty look, they are probably just constipated. :)
Dear Annabelle,
In the future, you can say:
"I have had thoughts of suicide in the past, but would never act upon it."
That way, everytime you have a thought, you will not be making a suicide threat, but instead just describing how desperate you have felt, then putting those thoughts aside,
you can talk about the hurt and anger without putting your therapist on high alert-wasting a lot of therapy time designed to help you.

Of course, if you had thoughts of actually hurting yourself or others, then you must say so to your therapist or other health professional in real-time, not on this forum, which is in cyber-space.
Do you want to know what I think?
I think you are worth it!
Worth having a good life, starting now, not even waiting
for things to clear up.

Put each hand on your opposite shoulder, now pat, pat, pat, squeeze.
Say: " I am worth it"

That is the only way I know to give you a hug from here.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

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