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I have been taking care of both parents for 5 years now with no help from my brothers. They say I shouldn't have brought them down south with me and I bite off more than I can chew. And they weren't good parents! (REALLY THEY STILL GAVE YOU LIFE) Well mom was almost died she was admitted into the ICU in the local hospital because of an undiagnosed lung issue. The house they were living in was full of mold. She could no longer do her own checkbook or do her own medication. My dad is an alcoholic and was drinking and driving daily. I am physically unable to care for them as they need. I have a spinal condition that is getting worse and not sure what my future will be. I would put them in an assisted living facility but they can't afford that. Both brothers have money to help but won't even do that. So what happens if I drop them off there? I don't know what else to do.

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I am burned out after being a caregiver all my life first to my son who passed away 4 yrs ago after 73 surgeries due to spina biffita, loosing my baby at 2&1/2 with spinal meningitis and my first child has a failed back surgery due to scoliosis. I too have double scoliosis and now have stage 4 spondylolitis and can barely walk and have severe pain. I do everything I can to take care of them but it's so hard on me!
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It's okay. Come here when you need to. Many of us have been thru some difficult times with our loved ones and came here for answers and support. This is quite a community of people helping people!
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Thank you everyone for the help. Sorry for being so aggravated. I was really upset.
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You can get a Murphy trust set up

This is a trust where the money above the max to qualify for Medicaid is put into a trust fund that has only Medicaid as the beneficiary. Their income then qualifies them for Medicaid nursing home...the extra goes into the trust. When they die, the trust is automatically the property of Medicaid.
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The too-much for Medicaid but not enough for self-pay situation is a bummer! You might be surprised, though, that there are ways to arrange things so that they qualify for Medicaid. Don't dismiss the idea until you've explored it thoroughly. Just looking up the limits on a website doesn't give you the full picture.

There is no way you can force your siblings to participate in caring for your parents personally or financially. They can choose not to have anything more to do with the parents just as you could choose to bring them south with you. Your decisions don't obligate them.

In your situation I would ask for a needs assessment for your parents (your county's Human Services Department, or the Area Agency on Aging.) Someone will come out and evaluate what kind of services your parents need and how much. They will try to match that to the programs available. You must be absolutely clear that because of your own health you can no longer take care of them.

You definitely need help. Just don't expect it from your siblings.
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Can you talk to your brothers at all? Ask if they would help you get them placed? Forum posters can advise on how to get a needs assessment for them - I presume you have local council on aging or human services. They should have some ideas of what help they or you may qualify for. If you have to apply for Medicaid but their income is too much, perhaps you could get a Miller Trust set up. Igloo, who often posts here on the forum, is a really GREAT source of info on these matters.
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no they aren't veterans.
There was no one to take care of them where they lived before I moved them here. One of my brothers is a nurse practitioner that specializes in critical care, just an hour from them and wouldn't even check on mom when she was sick.
They make too much for Medicaid but not enough for self pay.
They should step up and help! I'm not the only child.
I wouldn't really drop them off! I just need some help.
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Is there any reason to believe that they have changed their mind about you bringing your parents down south? Have you inquired if your state has financial assistance for some seniors who have disabilities like dementia? I'd inquire about that. You might check with your county's dept of social services and see what resources there might be for them. If there is a doctor recommendation for care and/or treatment, that might help as well.

I'm not sure why you think it's appropriate to drop them off at your brother's house. If he didn't request that they come. I'd try to either get them to volunteer to help them find placement or seek the help of the county/state office that determines benefits.

Are either of your parents veterans?
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