There is something wrong with me.
Throughout the course of this adventure, as well as throughout my life, I am finally wanting and needing to know what is wrong with me. There is something inherently wrong with me, there has to be. I do not begrudge being here for my Mom, truly I do not...but all of my life I have done these kinds of things and now am finally seeing that none of it is the least bit appreciated and I know if Mom was able to do so, she would get up, pack her suitcase and move herself into a nursing home. I know she did not want me to do this...I honestly can't imagine doing anything else. But with the loss of my house, I will have officially lost absolutely everything I worked my entire life for. everything. And I think something is wrong with this picture. My Mom is a wonderful woman, but I do not believe even my Mom would have done what i am doing...I have never felt like a normal kid, I have never fit in in the adult world. So what on earth is wrong with me that I have literally fiddled while Rome burned and lost everything I ever worked my behind off for. All the nephews I spent most of my money on, the brother who I helped redecorate their lavish lake home, even parents I have been here for my entire life....I must be the dumbest person on the face of the earth..or naive, or stupid. I don't require much "stuff" to live...a good thing, as I have officially lost my a**.......and it is my own fault.....and I know it.