I just placed my mom 2 weeks ago in a nursing home and I feel so down when I think or visit her there. I feel like I am responsible for her happiness. She barely recognizes me and looks so lost. She can still talk and walk, but her speech is all nonsense words. I honestly don't think she is aware of her surroundings or the people there. She is still continent but I found her in a big diaper. She is losing weight due to a picky eater, but I know they try to get her to eat. I noticed her blanket she had on the bed was soiled. The furniture in the common area looks like they are all soiled with spills and such. Do they sanitize the furniture? They put an easy chair in her room and it was stained. I guess I am just picky. They said they would wash her blanket. I keep thinking about my mom walking around and around and feeling lost. I am so upset I can't even enjoy my life. I feel like I am abandoning her I keep telling myself they are caring for her now and I should just let it go. It is a daily struggle for me. I know that moms life is pretty much over and I have a lot of life to live. i guess I got to give myself permission to live. I start feeling sick when I have to go visit her, due to seeing her so vulnerable. How do I come to peace with her being in the nursing home? I feel like it is my duty that she is being cared for properly and she is happy. This is tearing me up!