I just came from a visit to the NH. Now that she is eating better, she is talking more and getting feisty and argumentative again. Mom was on the "I want to go home" merry-go-round. I know she can't help it, but when this goes on and on like an Abbott and Costello skit "Who's on first", it completely wears me out. With her dementia (and hearing loss) I have to write everything on the white board. It does no good because she still can't remember and keeps on and on. "I was going to go home tomorrow, but I think I'll go home today with you". "Why am I still here?" (me- You have a leg infection that they need to treat so you have to get stronger. Her - There is nothing wrong with me. I want to go back to my house (my ans - (5x) you sold your house 10 years ago". Where is my furniture" (me - storage) Then I have to pay storage fees. (me- Its in my basement) Then I should pay you. I'm still paying rent on my house. me- You sold your house. Then where do I live? I want my own place. (me- you need to get stronger then we can talk about going home.)
Nothing works, can't change the subject - she goes right back to it. Whatever I say, she has a counter answer.
Finally I wait until she starts to nod off so I can sneak out. Otherwise the nurse tells me she raises a fuss the rest of the day because I left her.
I guess there is no way to get around it - they have dementia, they can't reason, they obsess, they miss their independence. I feel so sorry for her. I wish there was a way to spare us both these endless conversations that go nowhere.