Reached my breaking point and left...Family wants me to return.
Hello all..I have been living with 87 year old father in his home since May of last year. It has been drama filled to say the least. I work from home and we have two Home Health Attendants. (one for weekdays and one for the weekend. Our weekday HHA chose her friend to work on the weekends. So when she wants extra money she works on the weekend instead of her friend even though we would prefer she NOT work on the weekend since she is very loud and obnoxious.
My father has a crush on the weekday HHA and acts as if she is the woman of the house. She takes advantage of the situation. She rearranges things, comes in late, leaves early...she runs the show. My father treats me like Im the HHA. Every day is a shouting match. He acts as if my children and I are up to something all the time. He hides his wallet, walks around the house acting as if he is the security guard/warden.
On Friday, I reached my breaking point. I work from home and my father came into the basement as if I was not doing anything. He started talking about coming down to get salt for the snow. I was on an important call with my boss. He was told several times not to come into the basement during work hours. Needless to say it turned into a huge explosion. I told him I was leaving and this time I did !!!! My children happily packed up their things and we left. We are staying with a close friend. When I told my siblings I left, my older brother (who arranged for us to come live with our Dad) he told me I HAD to go back. Truth be told I dont feel comfortable staying with friends because then I turn into an automatic babysitter.
I told them I would come back tomorrow but how should I proceed with this ? I feel guilty for leaving in the first place. The Aides had to put in extra hours because Im not there. But I dont want to react upon feelings of guilt. I want to feel empowered. How should I move forward..have any of you ever left your caregiver role and returned ?? Thanks as always for listening and Happy New Year