My mother age 87 has lived with me since her discharge from a chronic care facility during October 2011. She has no dementia. She has a trach and has to receive daily nebulizer treatments. I am 63 and single. I have decided not to retire as I have no freedom to travel or do the bucket list things that others have the freedom to do. It's like being responsible for a child. To make matters worse she seems oblivious to my situation. She feels I am responsible for her and she made me promise never to put her in a nursing home which I would not do at this point as it would be a death sentence. She is very fragile and susceptible to the many infections in such places. My health has been great but I now have high cholesterol and for some reason the past two days I have upper legs pain. Earlier this week when I took her to visit her son and his wife and kids out of state I was so fatigued I lay in bed for two days except to perform her care. I told my family I am depressed but they just blew it off. My roommate moved to another state two weeks ago and took her precious Yorkies. I am very attached to them. My mother said what's wrong with you as you didn't wish me Merry Christmas. Duh! I said I am sad and trying to adjust so I am not celebrating this year. I have bought her a mobile home years ago and took her on wonderful vacations. But now I am so sad because it really is all about her. I feel all alone and when I come home from work I try to be alone till time to take care of her needs. She is my mother. I care about her. It's just so sad that her life has become my life and now with my leg pain what next. I have two friends here in Maryland and they care about me but I don't unload on them. So this is very depressing. Nothing to look forward to. Any emotional support is appreciated.