How can I get help dealing with my pain and hurt from caregiving?
I need help dealing with my emotions over this situation. My partner of 24 years had emphysema. We sold our home and moved to another state where our family and friends lived. I still had business in the previous state and payed rent to stay with a mutual friend. Somehow while I was away for a few weeks my partner got it in his head that I was having an affir with this other man (no way) and also cheating him out of money. This was the tip of the iceberg. To make a long story short, I believed at the time that the steroids he was taking for emphysema contributed to this weird behavior. By the time I returned home, he had become extremely ill mentally and physically, but because we never married I was now cut out of the loop and not allowed to speak to the doctors, although one of the nurses who was an old friend dropped the dementia word. However, he was very convincing and convinced even my own brother, his children and my closest cousin that I had changed my moral character and had become an alcoholic as well. I was stunned. He moved out, bugged my father's house where I now lived and told social services my father had threatened him and attempted to sue my family and have my 87 year old dad put in jail- the nicest gentlest man I've ever known. Rex was 70. He immediately frittered away one third of our assets while I was away and stole my checkbooks and the bank pressed charges against him. I paid his son thousands more to take him back to Canada where he could get better care (he was a Canadian citizen). Soon his son realized it wasn't me. Then he suddenly died, leaving anger and confusion everywhere and so much more trouble I haven't mentioned. Some people tell me it wasn't him,it was the dementia. But I wonder. I need to be in a better place about all this. Can anyone share anything that might help me deal with my anger and confusion? I've always been very spiritual and he became the most horrible person I've known- almost like he was gone and someone else stepped in his body. I'm having trouble forgiving. I lost my friend, partner, close family, home and reputation in a matter of 3 short months and am struggling to make sense of all this. Can dementia do all this?