I know so many are going through so much out there please share!

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It's almost Christmas Day my father and mother both are in a nursing home 1280 miles from me as they choose not to move closer to their only child. In August as some of you know I went back to care for them and was fired from my employer of 13 years. I was facing back surgery before I got the call from my father finally allowing me passage to them. He wouldn't hand over the keys to the truck so he wouldn't let come help them. Since then I had everything set up help coming in 3 days a week, both had doctors appointments I met with the doctors. Dad agreed at the time to let the nurses aid drive his Explorer until after I left then he wouldn't let her. He wouldn't let the aid drive them to doctors appointments his behavior became abusive to others. Soon he started accusing everyone the nurses aid, and me of stealing from him. He went to the police saying the nurses aid stole my mothers wallet. He went to an attorney had me removed as DPOA AND MOA while they both my mother and father were incompetent and this never should have happened. My mother had several falls the month after I came home to no job. She ended up in the hospital this is where the attorney had her revoke me, I couldn't find out any information about my mother, staff was told not to speak to me. I tracked her down she was placed in a recovery nursing home. Several weeks later my father had a terrible accident that totaled his Explorer, thank God no one else was involved or hurt. He spent several weeks in the hospital were more drama ensued when my fathers sisters showed up. The sisters and the attorney made such a scene they were told they would be escorted from the hospital if they could act like adults. I filed a complaint with the Supreme Court on the attorney that revoked me, waiting for full results. I now have another attorney who is trying to straighten out this terrible mess. New attorney confronted the greedy DPOA revoking attorney and there was a fire storm. None of this needed to happen none of this, now I'm waiting to find out what next. I will need to drive back filing for guardianship over my father he's been pronounce completely incompetent, move them to a locked assisted living facility and close down their house. Move things they want to their new place sell everything else the house included. I don't want to be alone in that house by myself LONE CLOSING DOWN THEIR LIVES. God this is so painful, then I drive back to my home 1280 leaving them waiting on God so to speak. I can't stand this putting my break down on hold what next Really WHAT NEXT! I had 13 years benefits and a retirement plan with the company that fired me I was putting back money so I could take care of myself worked all the time now nothing my life is on hold at a dead stop. I'm so numb, or in unbelievable emotional pain. Medication helps some but I don't have the funds to see the doctors any longer to help me through this grief so I come here. Just feeling so hopeless today thanks for listening if you dare read this post!


I am so sorry for your pain. Please accept some cyber hugs.
Thank you jeannegibbs
I am so sorry for all you are going through. Having to file for guardianship is enough stress. In April of this year, we placed our mother in a memory care unit...part of an assisted living community. It tore me up having to go through my mother's house, throwing out unusable items. Thank God mom was a very tidy person who kept a vigilance on not accumulating junk. The last two years she lived at home, she had stopped weeding things out. Every time I would go in her house by myself, I would just bawl my heart out at the loss of my family of origin. I could hear my siblings and my parents during Thanksgiving or Christmas...all the happy times (which were few). I prefer to think about the good times we had together.Yes I grieved and still am...just like you. We have not sold her house yet or the contents. It is going to be hard to do it...I walk around the back yard where my father laid cement...mine and my siblings names are written in the cement. I hope whoever buys the house, takes as good care as my parents did. Allow yourself to grieve, remember to good memories, and focus on making more good memories with the time you have left with your parents. Blessings to you.
oh honey... I am so sorry you are in such pain (physical and emotional) I was fired for BS reasons too...from the govt no less... haha. 17 years there and now nothing burned through my retirement and now full time with my dad. I feel your pain. Blessings to you and sending strength.
I was let go from my previous well paying job because I found a glaring error in a drainage report. What is that you ask? Did you know that water runs up hill for nearly a half of a mile before it comes to the nearest drainage channel? Yup, prepared by an engineer, caught by lowly planner me and I'm the one let go, wouldn't want to raise any red flags you know. And this was a hundreds of thousands of dollar public project! Our government at work!
With 13 years at that employer couldn't you file on them for non-compliance of the Family Medical Leave Act? They may reinstate your position. I would certainly fight it if you enjoyed your job!
Hugs to you Zoolife, I hope that the revocation of your POA is undone soon.
As a former human resources professional, my heart breaks when I read about how companies today fire people so quickly - usually because they either don't want to pay benefits (or retirement) or they're having their own financial issues.

And I'm so sorry Zoolife about all you've gone through. I've followed your story from the beginning. The one very small good thing in all of the crap you've endured is now you have reached a point where if you can get conservatorship of your folks, you can take actions that (hopefully) can't be undone. And get them settled in a place. I know there's a LOT of work between here and there, but each step you take, each thing you accomplish means there's one less thing to do towards the point in time where you can get your own life back, because you're not living in that horrible place of having your dad fight you at every step. Please check back in often as you work through this process. If I lived in TX, I'd offer to help (I live in IL). Good luck...and please keep us posted.
sharymarie,ypiffani,gladimhere,bermuda, and ms. blannie, God love you all thank you for commenting, getting back with me it means so much! I try to comment when people post questions or discussions because it means so much to the person that posted the question that we are hearing each other, support each other, care because we share a common ground trying to cope with death. I think it was Nancy Regan called it " The Long Goodbye" she left out Painful! Thanks again for begin there!
I hear you and I understand. You will be in my prayers.

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