I am not sure how to verbalize how I feel?
My Mother, who I had been caring for for 8 years, recently passed away. My Dad died in 2008, and since then I have been responsible for every decision my Mom made. The last 3 years she has lived near me in an assisted living and the responsibility, as everyone knows, became more even more. It was something that I would never change or take back. She was 93 when she died and I was blessed to have her every minute that I did. I'm sad that she's gone, and so sorry to lose her beautiful smile and laughter. I will miss talking to her every day. But I am even more thankful that she passed quietly, without pain, and without a prolonged stay in a nursing home. She hated being dependent, and over the last year she had lost more of her eyesight, and had many episodes of lost time and memory. I suspect she was having mini-strokes until the one that finally took her. So today I am much relieved for her, as well as me. I think I have handled the emotional side her passing well. Our family has celebrated her wonderful, long life. But I have come to realize that this is the first time in my 63 years that I have not felt responsible for, or worried about constantly, the well-being of another person. It is like a huge weight has been lifted....but what the heck to do. I have a lot of things in mind, but somehow I am just wandering a bit. It's hard to talk about, really, because I am not sure how to verbalize how I feel. Right now I am just enjoying my days without feeling guilty. But I was wondering how those of you who have been through this have handled the transition-and it is definitely a life transition.