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My wife's sister and my brother-in-law never called or visited my wife. Neither has her extended family for that matter. So I was taken by surprise when her sister called me and asked about her sisters situation . She then asked for directions to the A.L..
The aids told me that they walked in and announced " She doesn't belong here," and walked out! I'm not surprised because that's the way they are and thats the way they'll always be.

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I agree I'd make it clear that she is not to have visitors without prior consent and that any information given to anyone will be given by you and you alone!. That was very rude of them and I personally think they was just trying to make an appearance so as to make others think they are in control or have authority on the situation. I kinda went through that with my older brother when mom was put in the nursing home physical therapy, he went in and signed papers so that she couldn't have no medical care except for basic care at the nursing home. So if something happened that she woke up and couldn't see out of one eye she couldn't ask to see an eye doctor i was outraged by this and make it clear that I was her MPOA and that no one but myself was to sign any papers to the care of mommy. It's hard to put up with your loved ones distant family and I feel what your going through... Good luck!
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Be glad they vanished into the night! Hopefully they will stay that way and not hound you with alternatives now.
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Richie, their very poor manner of interacting with you and your wife suggests to me that they're best out of her and your lives. To behave in the manner they did is inexcusable, tactless and lacking in understanding.

Perhaps it's a good thing they didn't visit her - comments of the nature they made might only upset her. Hopefully they won't meddle again.
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I would have a note at the AL, no visitors without prior authorization from you. People who haven't been involved since the beginning have no need to jump in now and you certainly have no responsibility to give them information or access to your wife. Next phone call (if there is one) you should ask "Why are you interested now? Have a great day and thanks for calling." Good luck!
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The siblings made a surprise attack criticizing my choices and the vanished into
the night.
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