Getting husband to an audiologist; any ideas of how to broach this with love and concern and not get angry?
I've posted before about my DH and his untreated hearing loss. We just returned from a weeklong trip to the PNW where we have 4 grandkids. My son and his wife were absolutely shocked to see how bad hubby's hearing loss it. He couldn't hear any conversation--and I get that--a house that is NEVER quiet, a dog that barks nonstop and kids screaming all day--but he could sleep on the sofa without any problem through all the noise. Both son and DIL were angry AT ME for not pressing him to get his hearing checked. (As you may recall, if you've followed this) he says that he HAD his hearing checked 30 years ago and they couldn't help him. Refuses to go again. Well--even though I stood right in front of him, said "Can you hear me?" and he responded that he could, I reminded him to get some coats of his out of the closet. We come home, unpack and yep, no coats. Somehow this is my fault b/c I didn't remind him. I have already made an audiologist's appt. One month from today. I haven't told him--b/c I KNOW he is going to kick up a stink and make me the bad guy. He got yet another speeding ticket, which if he had STOPPED when the cop first went lights and sirens, probably wouldn't have been a problem, but he was oblivious and couldn't hear and actually went across state lines and that made the cop livid--so the ticket was really bad. He's on "probation" again for having so many tickets. Pretty soon he'll lose his driver's license, and if that happens--I don't know-- He misses SO MUCH!! He's become even more depressed and withdrawn. He slept much of this trip--due to a lingering cold and also just b/c he is always so sad. My DIL is a dr and VERY tough--ice cold, but kind--she really got after him about how lack of hearing can lead to early onset dementia, etc., and as much as he adores this woman, he was kind of angry (at me) for what he thought was an all out attack on him. (I hadn't said anything to my DIL). I find myself absolutely shouting at him, which has transferred over to my "regular" life where I have been told more than once I am talking VERY loudly. Embarrassing to the max. My DIL said she loves us to visit, but that I talk way too much. I was so ashamed, as I am so used to repeating myself over and over so my DH can hear me. Kind of just ranting. I did make the drs apt. I am going to tell him. My best guess is that he will not go and will be furious with me. Any ideas of how to broach this with love and concern and not get angry? My DIL "yelling" at me yesterday to please STOP TALKING just put me over the edge. I had to go lock myself in the guestroom and have a huge cry. I was shut down completely the rest of the day. Barely spoke, DIL did "apologize" but in a way that meant, "I'm sorry you got hurt, but I meant what I said". (She really intimidates me). Glad to come home and sad to be dealing with this same stupid problem I posted about 3 years ago.