Been caring for disabled mother in my home 4yrs - would like support group.
I am 38 and been caring for my bedridden mother for almost five years. I am an only child and moved her in after my father's passing. My marriage didn't survive and it seems like it is getting harder every day. I love her and don't know why I feel such strain lately. None of my close friends have dealt with this issue. What little family I have doesn't offer assistance. A visit here and there, but nothing to speak of besides that nothing much else. I have been needing some support system of people who understand where I am at currently, possible future issues to come. I hope I can find someone who knows how I feel. I have aides who come so that I can work during the day. But it has become to the point where I feel I cant continue. I have no kids, which makes me feel it shouldnt bother me to care for my mother. I feel like my life is stuck in a mode that I didn't choose, and have given up all hope for a life I want to live, but can not. I know this may sound selfish but I hope to find one person who understands something to give me hope, I know her being with me is what she needs but I am starting to feel angry bitter and guilty. She has gotten more needy of my attention this last year since my divorce. She used to want me to do things and said she wasn't going to move in unless I continued my life. But that just hasn't happened. She is gotten worse, and I feel like I need to have a life too, I have given up many things and now I don't know if I can continue to be the "good daughter" sometimes I think she would be better in a nursing home, but I know I would miss her and feel even more guilty as I promised my dying father I would take care of her. And what point do I get to live again? I am stuck? Will I never have a life that I choose and not what was given to me? Please any advice would be so appreciated. Thanks you