I am dying from the stress! I have cared for Mom for 8 years and recently had a complete breakdown, I was hospitalized for stress, panic and anxiety, and chest pain. I was told to look at my 22 year old daughter and tell her goodbye, because if i went back home to care for Mom I was going to have a heart attack or stroke.
I had been asking my older sister who lives with us for help for a very long time but she always turned a deaf ear. She got out of school at 2:30 but might come home around 5, 6, or 7pm because she did not want to have to help or be "in the situation."
Two doctors and a social worker told me to check out the following day, go home and pack my belongings and leave unless I wanted to die and leave my 22 year old daughter alone. I took their advice and moved in with my younger sister who lost her husband and has two kids and works 12 hours a day to try and keep her house..
I am going through h*ll trying to get past the panic and anxiety that plagues me!
Anyway we have seen an Elder Law Attorney for Mom's estate and he has suggested putting Mom in a program called PACE through the Brandman Institute in California. They believe in keeping Mom at home as long as possible and not putting her into a facility. The problem is she has to go to their facility 2 or more days a week and she will be brought home at 5pm.
I cannot go back into her home and care for her, my younger sister is up to her ears with working 12 hour days and caring for her home and kids, my older sister is losing her job in June but needs to work and will be looking for another position. There LITERALLY IS NO ONE AVAILABLE TO WATCH MOM.
Neither of my sisters want to see Mom put into a home and I understand where they are coming from but after 8 years of caring for her AND HAVIING A BREAKDOWN AND BEING TOLD I AM GOING TO DIE IF I TRY TO CONTINUE TO CARE FOR HER.....I FEEL LIKE I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT AND REALIZATION THAT MOM NEEDS TO GO WHERE SHE CAN BE CARED FOR ON A 24 HOUR BASIS.
Now I am wondering, if Mom qualifies to be placed in one. She is able to be up and around but she has moderate/severe dementia according to the doctor. She can feed herself but not cook and still uses the bathroom although there may be accidents.
Will they take her on Medi Cal? We have currently hired in home health care that is costing in excess of $740 a week
My older sister is ready to kill me, "for leaving her in charge of Mom and her care" but I have done it for 8 years and no one seemed to care and I literally begged for help, this is why I am sitting in my sisters house fighting for my health.
I really need some help with information on Memory care facilities or where we can place Mom so she gets the care she needs and everyone else is able to live their lives and not die of stress and exhaustion in the process.