"Being held hostage by inheritence"

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Read this quote in one of the forums and realized that some of the problems stemming from elder cargiving may be due to a future inheritence. I keep wondering why all these caregivers are willing to go through with all the horrors of caring for undeserving elderly relatives. My mother is basically trying to do that with her four heirs; me, my two sisters and a usless lazy stepsister. The stepsister is the only one concerned about her due rights inheritence. My sisters and I could care less. Me and one of my sisters are the only ones that have been able to help her and not because of the inheritence. I know I will never take on the care of my elderly mother until she uses all that blood money first for her care. I will not be held hostage to an inheritence!


Once upon a time, people who were not extremely wealthy could live carefully, save money, and expect to be able to leave a financial legacy to their children.

That was before it became common to live 20 to 30 years beyond retirement.

Most non-wealthy people are now lucky if they can support themselves and pay for their medical care without some kind of financial aid before they die, let alone have enough left over to pass on to heirs.

If non-wealthy elders need care and they are dangling an inheritance as an incentive and the potential heirs are buying into that myth, then all parties are living in a fairy tale. Ain't gonna happen, folks.
Imho unless they are truly generationally wealthy, if they live long enough, they WILL RUN OUT OF $$ and the caregivers will run out of ability. The amount of times the "being hostage by inheritance" issue comes up on this site is just staggering and just so sad. To be able to use their $$$ to get them things they need and the ability to be able to have them in IL or AL or NH of your or their choice without worry of how to pay is priceless.
My mom is not wealthy, but has a fair-sized estate. It is the only thing that keeps me sane. As igloo said, knowing my mom has the resources to pay for the care she needs is priceless. Not sure it will last as long as she does, but the chances are pretty good.

As Pinocchio sang (in the Disney version!), "There are NO STRINGS ON ME!".
Me having DPOA ensures that her assets will be used for her care. She thinks making me her DPOA will ensure me being the dutiful daughter caring for her and keeping the inherience intact for the heirs. In this case ignorance is bliss. Mother is in for a rude awakening when she cannot live independently anymore. Either she will be choosing to pay for her care or I will if she is incompetent. An inheritence of any amount is not worth being a 24/7 servant.

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