Can't take it anymore.

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Depressed beyond belief and I cannot even stand the sight of my selfish mother anymore. I am so angry at her selfishness. She even once told me she did her "duty" and had children (me) and said maybe it was God's plan for ME to take care of HER. I am going through menopause, out of work due to surgery and have been cooped up with her 24 hours a day for 7 months. The anger and resentment is out of control and I can't stand her in my home while she still owns hers in Florida. It is all about her life - no concern about mine or my husbands. Only about who is going to take care of her, her, her. Always has been just about her life. I want her out of my house. My brother is also a non-issue. No help really. He resents her as well and will not help her at all. I really am going to crash soon and nothing will change. Ever.


1) look around for adult daycares in your area. It will give you respite and also so your mom can interact with others there. Call her medicaid insurance and they will give you a list.

2) take mom outside into the sunlight for about 15 minutes each day. It will help boost her mood, so she can be easier to deal with since she will feel better and she can get her vitamin d to help her bones and her overrall health. You can even sit with her outside so you can get your dose sunshine as well. The sun will help relieve your stress, boost your mood, energize you, alleviate any pains you have, etc. Google and youtube the many benefits of sunlight. Its natures medicine and it is free. This is what i do when i visit my grandpa in the nursing home. I take him outside for his dose fresh air and sunshine and ive seen an improvement on both of our wellbeing. As for me, i do not crave for coffee or sugar much and Im more energetic.
As for your brother, if he isnt trained to be a caregiver and if he isnt motivated, you cant get much out of him. Some family members arent "qualified" to be supportive or be natural or trained in that field. That is why you have to seek help from other sources.
Get her out of your house.
Susan there comes a time when it's either you or them. No doubt you have read some of my posts over the past couple of years so you know what I went through with Mommie Dearest. Even while in the nursing home she tormented me on a daily basis until, close to a nervous breakdown, I blacked out doing 85 in my truck. Was that ever a wake up call ... it was either her or me and it wasn't going to be me. I changed my phone number, made it unlisted and in the end didn't visit much due to her abuse, just dropping off toiletries, chocolates and juice at the office with "tell her I have a cold". Of course, the next time I visited I got a blast the minute I walked through the door because "you don't look like you have a cold!!".

You can't win with these nasties. Get her out of your house before you become seriously ill due to the stress. I survived (many do not) ... thankfully she passed away in September and, for once in my life, I was free.

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