I can't handle this.
I just can't handle my life. I can't help my mom, I can't even help myself. She wants to go home and live alone 9 hours from anyone she knows, including me. I can't quit my job if I want to survive financially. I can't leave her alone. She doesn't want to go to assisted living. There is no way out. My siblings are complete !*@#%^& a**holes, pardon my language. I'm being tortured by lack of sleep. I understand the advice people are giving, but I can't do any of it. It's all too hard for me. All of it. I'm not kidding. It's almost like everything she is doing is designed to torture me. I wish I had the guts to end my life. There truly is no way out. I don't deserve to suffer like this.