I am so burned out from my mother that I am ready to collapse.

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We had a set back with her going to assistant living. They turned her down. So now we are taking her home & then came another setback. She has been wearing a C-pap at night for 2 months in the nursing home. She was ready to come home last Friday when they told us on Thurs that she needed a sleep study in order for the insurance to pay for the machine. Well the home gave us 3 options..1-pay 308.00 a month, take my mother & siblings to a facility where they provide the c-pap for training & pay them. (this was a 60 mile drive round).2- take her home without the c-pap. 3- leave her at the nursing home til a sleep study can be done. This was NOT caught at the hospital or the nursing home for a sleep study. As far as the hospital I agree that she did need it since she had her last rites & didn't expect her to be going back to her home. A miracle in itself. So we had a dr apt yesterday for consultation & now waiting for them to call so she can have her sleep study done. Is mom happy for the wait? Ha! of course not. She is so used to being catered to & the daughters there everyday that she expects things to happen fast because its her. She b^&tch3s about everything & I am ready to throw in the towel! We have worked so hard to make her comfortable, cleaned her house, had the rugs,furniture cleaned,keeping up her yard,but its never enough. Another worry will be the c pap when she goes home. She always says she can't get it on. We are afraid she will not wear it if she needs it after the sleep study. After all she is 92, very sharp minded so I guess she earned it???


I've just been trying to catch up with your and your family's situation, Deanna. So your mother has been in the Nursing Home, and you were trying to get her transferred to Assisted Living... what went wrong, there?

How are you getting on with persuading your sisters to dial back a notch on the level of hands-on care you are all providing to your mother? What is the plan for when she gets home?
How did she get the machine in the first place without a sleep study? A prescription is required to get one. Do you know who supplied hers? How did she know she needed one without a sleep study?

I can't believe that she would be eager to wear one, but if she needs it, it probably makes her feel better during the day. Her focus and health is likely to improve, if he needs it.

I wear one and it took over 9 months for me to the maximum improvement in my health. I have an 82 year old aunt who is just starting using one, but she was already familiar with them due to her late husband wearing one for many years.

The trick to it being comfortable is to get the right kind of mask. There are full masks and nasal pillows. The pillows come in sizes. Try several. I tired Small and Medium and ended up with a medium. I like the nasal pillows, because they only cover your nose and your mouth stays free. Just the right tightness of the straps around the head will keep it from pinching. Me and many others use a water soluble jell on the nostrils just before putting on the nasal pillow. It helps prevent friction. Do not allow her to use Vaseline like products. A session with a cpap rep should bring you up on the maintenance and operation. Setting the machine at the right height near the bed is also important. Cleaning is a big thing, as well using the right kind of water and keeping it at the right level. If she can't do that, she could ruin the machine and I'm not sure about replacement policy. Unless she's very responsible, I'd have it checked everyday.
Churchmouse..What went wrong was she has community care & between the assistant living home, they refused because of the "rate". Not enough money for them to take her to assistant living.Dialing back works & doesn't as far as going to see her. It is not as strong as it was but she still has someone there everyday. I am off today (whoopee) & I took the weekend off. My sister did not go see her last night which was ok since my other sister & I were there during the day because of her appt. otherwise when someone doesn't come she'll say..no one came last night. The day is so long, the night is so long. Grrrr. She wants to go outside but only when we are there to take her. I said to her yesterday have them come take you in the wheelchair. I did make her put on her own socks & shoes which she wanted me to do. She did fine. I know mind games are being played no doubt. Our plan for when she gets home is to have her on her own. Our problem might be the C-Pap though, if she doesn't put it on correctly or not at all. I asked her yesterday if she expects us to come to the house like we are here. Her answer was "not really" lol. PT,OT said she does very well so they seen no problem with her being on her own at home. Hoping she won't need the c-pap but...we will come to check on her during the week &she will have a nurse come there once a week & PT which I won't let her stop. She needs her exercise to stay strong.
Oh, most of the c-pap machines may be registered with an on-line service that logs all the details about its use. So, once registered, it sends signals to their headquarters and a daily report is available online, giving the number of hours it was used, how many episodes of apnea, number of leaks in the mask, etc. It will let you know how well it's working for her.
Sunny you are so right about needed a prescription and sleep study to get a CPAP... but... I work in a hospital ICU, and Dr's order it all the dang time!! If anyone snores they decide they have sleep apnea.. heck some folks just snore!! And the Drs ask me what the settings should be.. how the heck do I know,, I don;t have sleep study results!! So they go home without one... but they sure get one in the hospital somehow.. because Dr so and so ordered it without any knowledge. This propably happened in this situation.

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