My sister is 17 years older than me and we’ve always had a great relationship. She’s so funny and sweet and I love her so much, that when she knew it was time to have some help and assistance with her living situation after our brother, who lived with her, passed away, I moved in to help her until she could decide what she wanted to do.
I offered to have her come live with me at the beach, only about 10 miles south, and she loves it here! I have a single story duplex, with my son and family living above us and a beautiful backyard that she takes a daily sunbathe in. So she’s really happy. She loves the beach and all the things we can do together. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, driving etc. So all is well here at home between us.
My hurt comes from her kids, my niece and nephew. I’ve always had a great relationship with them but now neither one ever calls, texts or emails me. They seldom call their mom unless she calls them first. I keep sending texts with pictures of what’s going on with their mom and my son’s family, but never hear back from them. I’ve called them and they don’t call back.
Before my sister chose to move in with me, she discussed the move with her kids. They we’re concerned about her house, having to sell it and then moving and then got worried I was going to “take all her money”. I own my property in full, which is valued at over a million plus dollars, have money in the bank and financially fine. She sold her co-op for $160,000. She’s borrowed money from me that I know she won’t be able to pay back, but I am fine with that. She would do the same for me if things were reversed. So neither one of us gets why her kids have a problem, except my sister thinks it’s jealousy?
My nephew lived less than a mile away from her before she moved and seldom stopped to even see her unless she called him. He said his home was too small and couldn’t accommodate her. My niece lives in New Jersey and has a beach house in Virginia. She did offer to have her mom live there, but my sister realized both homes are three stories up, with the main house on the second floor and bedrooms on the third floor and my sister can’t do stairs any longer, one of the main reasons for her moving from where she lived. She also considered the cold winters and said that wasn’t for her, so chose to stay in sunny Southern California.
Unfortunately, as a side note, my niece and her husband are both alcoholics and have been unhappily married for 30 years and so my sister really didn’t want to live in that kind of continuous conflict. Or drive 5 hours back and forth between their two homes. My niece hasn’t been out to California for 7 years now to even see her mom, which again makes my sister feel bad.
Anyway, I just think it’s sad that because they treat me the way they do, it hurts my sister probably more than it hurts me. I can be okay with it because I have my kids close by and a new granddaughter that we all love and have fun with!
Any solutions? It’s tricky, because I would love our family back together again but I just don’t see that happening.
Thanks so much. I know this is long story, but it is complicated. Your help would be appreciated!