Why is the term loved one used so often? There are family members I'm caring for or have cared for that I can't stand.

I found LO (& others) a little sugary for my taste. Well established on forums so I just overrode mentally with my own labels: DS Dear Sister now Dependant Sister. (Could be Dirtbag/Doofus/Dreaded).

LO: Loon Old? Life Obligations? Legally Ours? Short for *loco*? (Sorry if offend)

Generic term, just like the old, “Have a nice day!” Does anyone mean that BS?

Everything is scripted, how about, “Do you want fries with that?”

Kind of like reality TV isn’t really ‘reality TV! I keep telling my daughter that the Kardashians show is scripted! She says she knows but likes to watch it anyway. Hahaha

Okay, I don’t like the term, ‘passed’ when someone dies. Just irritating to me. I heard a psychologist say once, it can actually water down the grieving process by saying ‘passed’. We pass kidney stones, tests, etc. Know what I mean? Just say, “died.”

In truth, I use the term 'love one' because that is the term that is use here. However, for the love of my mother has long been dead, therefore I call her my mother...not love one...not even mom unless I am talking about better past, but in most, she is my mother. And the term LO is just that--a term because I have been here long enough to know not everyone who is being cared for is loving!


Just my 2 cents!!

I used to call my late father 'person who calls himself my father'. It was to the point. .

Hi again, I agree that LO doesn't always mean we loved them. But by caring for them: we are essentially being loving...to them... anyway.
I recall that a poster named: NoTryDoYoda said it best..."love is a verb" (& when we care for a person they are the "loved one" by that definition). It may be best to look at it that way, cuz it makes it less emotional, & more service describing.
Not sure if that's acceptable, but it would be awkward to have to drop the abbreviation LO entirely. ✌

WHAT ELSE CAN WE POLITELY CALL THEM? - many use up their 'loved one' statis long before they pass but what else can we call them? - it is a kind/politically correct way to refer to them - I am sorry you have such a dysfunctional family but at one time you loved them [I hope] & unfortunately you have to deal with the dregs of what is left - set boundaries for your family to keep your sanity is the best advise I can say

Yes, it is word that doesn't apply to many situations and can be highly triggering! Care recipient is a much better word for some situations!

I am not crazy for the term, ‘loved one’ either. It’s a catch phrase, know what I mean? You’re right though, not everyone even deserves to be called a loved one.

I often had problems buying greeting cards. Some sentiments on those cards drive me crazy when they don’t suit the person we are buying them for so we have to read a bazillion cards before finding one that is suitable.

Terms like this just seem to stick around. I’m sure a lot of people don’t like it just like many other stupid labels.

I don’t use labels if I don’t like them. Maybe it’s used due to lack of a better term or just a habit for some people to say like, ‘Have a nice day!’ When did that become popular? No one really means it. Hahaha Does the cashier in a store really mean it? I doubt it but they are programmed to recite it.

I’m sorry that you have had to care for miserable people. That has to be really hard. Don’t do it anymore if it is getting to be too much. How old are your siblings?

Tell them you’re not going to be responsible for them and let it go. Not worth being miserable for. Some people can’t change or won’t change their behavior so break free from them.

I have crappy siblings too. My oldest brother spent seven years in jail. I get how hard it is. He asked to live with me. I outright refused.

He was a heroin addict and I would have never exposed my kids to that. I didn’t even go visit him in jail. My parents did. I just couldn’t.

I did care for him. He had HepC. I took him to doctor appointments and so forth. I set him up with hospice. I planned his burial. I did forgive him. My heart goes out to addicts. He was a good person at heart, made bad choices very young. Fell into peer pressure. Sad. Cost him his life.

I did my best to support him as best I could. We had very rough patches and I had to cut him out of my life at times. Trust me, I know it’s complicated. It’s really hard. You have my empathy.

Sorry about your wife leaving after the death of your daughter. Sadly, that happens sometimes. Tragedy can tear a family apart. My friend who lost her son in a drowning accident at four years of age had her husband leave her with their four remaining children. They constantly argued and blamed each other for his death. Sadly the dad thought the mom was watching the little boy and the mom thought the dad was watching and he wondered into the pond on their property. It was truly the saddest funeral I ever attended.

I sincerely hope things get better for you.

Obliged One? Obligated being? Relative? Someone you need to take care of?
When a complete stranger pops in with an answer, don't take every response to heart, cypher through them. Use what is best for you and your situation. We could just put down LO, could mean Lousy One, Lazy One, Lonely One, and the worst. for you for now..Loved one,.. likable one, limpy one, lovely one, listy one. and the Legumes go On...

Thank God they have and had you to rely on.. You made a better world for them. Know you did, and know they appreciated you and your sacrifice. Seriously...You made their World better, even miles away.. KNOW THAT.

Don't feel bad.. most of these inquires, blogs, self explanatory obligated, can't sleep at night, or just plain ole responses, are for reading. looking at, considering about their authentic sources.. to look through think about, put away in your brain, barn, or recyclable receptacle, and skim over. It's up to the reader to think about what is worth retaining... And know you are not alone. Some have more on their plate, and some less. But we have been there some way, some how, or are going through it....been through it or are new to this...looking for a community what has been there - done that....

I am sorry for all the issues and situations that were thrown at you, your family and LO's...

So I will start using the LO...and you can use & read into those letters anyway you want. besides, it is less typing.... Says the person who can't sleep, and fingers feel like they are about to snap off with every letter I pound on.

Good Night...

While discussing forum ettiquite & other things, I mentioned this topic on abbreviations to my husband. (He reads IT forums so has little idea of human interactions..). I gave the example of DH for husbands.

He said he had always assumed it stood for D!*# Head.

So make them all stand for whatever you like :)

How about U O for ungrateful one or A O for annoying one? At the end of the day call them what you want. We on here don't know who you are talking about anyway so it's all the same to us.

My DH suggested I refer to him in type as HOM. Hot Older Male.

(In my head I'm saying Hairy Old Man... he he)

When I see those men driving those cars and looking over to see if I'm looking I hold up my baby finger. In other words "what are you compensating for?"

Been there. When professionals site someone's advanced age as an excuse for their poor behavior I want to ask, "Yeah, what was their excuse when they were twenty something?" It was and is difficult letting go all my past anger, to recognize the individuals physical condition and mental condition has declined, and the person requires care. IMO What stands out about your statement is that although the person (s) was unkind, or abusive you took care of them. Call it a morals, call it obligation but there are many people who would ignore Obligation to the point of neglect-- that is not only not personally taking care of the person but not allowing someone else to do so or help them provide care. However, you stepped up to do what was decent and necessary. Perhaps, think of the term "Loved One" as the definition of the quality of care you give, rather than the individual you are caring for. Thank you for your rant, it helped hear myself today.

I hear you, brother.

Whoops! Answered an old post

If it's all getting to be too much, please go talk to someone about your options. I don't think you are required to provide care to anyone except to your own minor children.