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My mom is experienceing mild dementia although she has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s but she is showing signs. I found a large amount of money in her room. She is aware of having money in her room but can’t remember where she has hidden the money. We want to put the money in her bank account and tell her about it but have to deposit a large amount of cash. Should we tell her we found the money?

I would buy a fire proof safe for 30 to 45 bucks, find a good hiding place and leave it at home.

Large amounts of cash draw attention and you have enough going on without the potential of this triggering any type of investigation.

I did 10% of my check as cash on hand for years, when I moved I was really thankful that we never had a fire but I decided that it was a good idea to protect it from loss with a small safe after all the paperwork I had to file when I deposited a portion. We got robbed a couple of years later and got investigated, police thought we were drug pins or something, and I am sure that in part we were tagged because of that deposit.

I would cycle it since our money has been redesigned though.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Well, looks like a paper trail. Why didn't Dad transfer it to the other account why keep it. If its one bank to the other, a wire transfer could have been done.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Isthisrealyreal Feb 23, 2019
It was a gift of 1 dollar bills, wouldn't have the same impact to be handed a deposit slip.
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Hiding things is very common with Dementia.  My Mother hides things and they "show up" days or weeks later.  Often times they are damaged or ruined.  She has destroyed most of her pearls and fine jewelry and while I made the decision that "they belong to her," sometimes I regret allowing this to happen.  Money is a different story.  You should do something before it's too late.  Gather up the money and deposit it.  Also, someone (you?) should get POA asap.

My FIL would give his wife $100. dollar bills each birthday and Christmas.  Unbeknownst to anyone, she hid them in books in their study.  When the home burned, family found thousands of dollars in those books!
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Reply to dlpandjep
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My dad helped my close a bank account one day and mom quickly hid the money under her mattress so she wouldn't lose it. She had no idea she had even held the money at all and Dad was convinced someone stole it from her before they ever left the bank. We looked all over the house for months before we found it!

We told Dad we found the money because he was still trying to take action against the bank, but Mom didn't remember she even had an account.

The 5 of us kids put it in a safety deposit box for safe keeping for unexpected expenses of theirs down the road.
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Reply to Joanies
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You haven't mentioned your father, is he aware of what you found? I think lots of people keep a little money tucked away "just in case", but it sounds as though this is a much greater amount than you are comfortable leaving hidden. Since your mom has dementia she may have lost track of the actual amount she is hiding, or she might know exactly what she has and is becoming paranoid about the safety of the bank or think she has some need for it. I agree that discussing it with her is the best option, but if you already know she is becoming paranoid and will react negatively I would probably just remove a little at a time and put it in the bank, leaving a smaller stash behind.
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Reply to cwillie
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Your know your mother best.

Why was she hiding the money?

Does she currently have any idea how much is there?

Are there siblings involved?

You need to balance keeping the money secure and Mum happy on one hand the issues with a large deposit at the bank and potential issues with siblings on the other hand.

If it were my parent, I would want the money in the bank. My Dad lost $300 last summer when he refused to put cash in his wallet. Instead he had it in an oversized envelope in his chest pocket. It fell out and was lost. It took two weeks to convince Dad that cash should be in his wallet.

I mention siblings, only because many here have issues with siblings draining the parents funds. It is best that the money be in a secure location. It is also best that it is in the parents bank account and properly accounted for.

Does Mum check her bank statements? I know my parents both do and would notice a big deposit.

Could you put most the money into her account, but leave some in the home and show Mum where it it?
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Reply to Tothill
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Help her count it. It is okay to be bold and honest.
If you could find it, anybody could.
Strongly suggest ways she could keep it safer.
Ask if she wants you to help her manage it, since she could not find it.
Ask her what it is for? Car repair, gardener, caregiver, housekeeper?
Help her.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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You really should put that money back where you found it. If mom should have a clear day she might go looking for it and if not, you know right where it is. If you don't feel comfortable with it in mom's room than put it somewhere else in the house.

If you deposit that money in the bank than you should know anything over 10,000 dollars the bank has to report it to the IRS. So, if you deposit 10,000 dollars or more your mom will have to pay taxes on it and somebody will have to explain where that money came from. Plus, if the IRS believe that the money was gain by illegally than the money is taken away and than you have to prove that the money was gain legal and how do you do that? You don't! I would really think twice about depositing it all in one hit at a bank!

You can deposit small amounts each months, but if mom is in early to mild dementia than I wouldn't. As long as she is able to have clear days it is her money. You can put the money in a safe deposit box than the money is safe and your mom will not get in trouble with the IRS. You will have to pay a small fee every month to the bank.


Just my 2 cents!
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