My mother has been showing signs of dementia/Alzheimer’s for a couple years now. She doesn’t remember whole blocks of time, like spending a whole day at Disneyland, that my brother moved out of state, etc. but her doctor gave her some bogus memory test that she says she passed and her doctor told her it’s normal at her age to “forget little things”. She doesn’t tell the doctor about the big things she forgets and she won’t allow me to go with her. She also lost a lot of weight in the last couple years and says her doctor thinks it’s great because she was doing it on purpose, however her previous doctor was trying to figure out why she was losing so much weight because she really wasn’t trying. (Her original doctor moved out of state so this one is new) I feel like my hands are tied and all I can do is watch her deteriorate. Any advice?

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I always gave a note to the receptionist to give to the doctor before he saw Mom. He as a neurologist. I would go this way first. If he still thinks nothing is wrong see a neurologist. He can order tests.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Missing whole blocks of time could be TIAs. When these first started with my father he showed very few other symptoms and would have easily passed the standard short memory test. Several family members didn't believe it was happening - until they were around Dad enough to realized he had forgotten a conversation or event that included/was important to them. Dad had high blood pressure - often 200 over 160 range - that went uncontrolled because Dad disliked the side effect of blood pressure medications. Diagnosis would only come after Dad had a small stroke that impacted his motor functions enough to be undeniable. At that time, the brain scans revealed at least 8 previous TIAs that resulted in death of some brain regions; the doctor stated there could have easily been another 30 that didn't result in enough damage to show on the scan. Vascular dementia had taken hold of the damaged brain.

I have known three other individuals who didn't have high blood pressure but did have blockages in the arteries in the neck that diminished blood flow to the brain and caused memory and vision black/brown outs. Two had surgery to bypass the blockages and had a decade+ of normal life. The third died following a major stroke before agreeing to surgery.

I urge you to write a letter to her doctor and discuss these possible correctable problems to your mother.
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Reply to TNtechie

Have you had a discussion with her doctor? Have you thought mom may be lying to you? Does mom have POA in place? A HIPPA release?

You can always call her doctor and tell what you know. Because of patient confidentiality doc will not be able to tell you anything, but you have done what you can do.

Is this doctor a geriatric specialist? How old is mom? I see mom is 64 which is quite young for dementia.
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Reply to gladimhere

Can you find another doctor? This one does not seem like a good match for the situation and then you would at least have a second opinion which could possibly bring some relief.
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Reply to Riverdale

Insist she goes to Neurologist
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Reply to CaregiverL

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