What items should I give to a loved one in Memory Care Unit?

Your husband knew your BIL before all these troubles overtook him, way back when they were growing up. I should consult him about what would appeal to your BIL, maybe trigger happy associations. Music, DVDS, headphones, would he enjoy anything like that?

Why don't you like the fridge idea? I'm not at all sure it would stop your BIL going "hunter-gathering" but wouldn't it be nice for him to have his own things to hand anyway?

I'm sorry about the clothes going missing (or getting spoiled?) but honestly a steady supply of decent clothing and bedlinen is really worthwhile - if you expect there to be a certain turnover, which there just will be, it's less infuriating when it happens.

In addition to the items already suggested, might you consider:
- Providing decorations for whatever holiday he celebrates. If he has a window, even having a holiday sun-catcher can be cheery.
- Bringing some family photos. Since space is at a premium, you might try placing them in an album. Also, you could go to a Walgreens, COSTCO or similar photo shop and have them made into a calendar.
- Getting specially designed bags to place on wheel chairs and walkers can be nice. I got some really pretty ones for my mom and MIL from Amazon.

Don't wrap the gifts--he might not ever get around to opening them. Just put a bow on a gift and tag saying who it's for and who it's from. I learned this the hard way when I visited my mother in memory care and found the boxes I had mailed stacked in a corner of her room. The cardboard boxes were open, but most gifts were unopened. I did bring items from her house to brighten up the room. Eight months ago, she would've said "No, don't bring things from my house, I'll be going home soon." But now, it took her two days to even notice that I had arranged some decorative items and small shelves from her house. She even saw me bringing them in, trip by trip, from the car, but she did not notice them in her room for 2 days. And then she liked them!

If he is able, maybe some crossword puzzle or word search books, magazines, or a coloring book. A warm blanket and an artificial plant might make it more homey.

A laminated list of phone numbers was good for my MIL when she was in rehab (although she couldn't figure out how to call on her cell phone...she kept trying to dial 9 first to get an outside line!). We laminated the list so it wouldn't get thrown away with other papers. We put her name on the top of the list in case it sprouted legs and needed to find it's way back to her.

When we placed my father in memory care, we brought over stuff to make him at home-Pictures, his computer, his tv, picture of him and mom, etc. As for snacks and drinks, I would consult the nurse and his doctor on what snacks and drinks you should bring (You don't want to bring ones that are choking hazards.) My dad had a mini fridge in his room where he could keep drinks and snacks cold, it worked out well for him. Movies are also a crowd pleaser--My dad had plenty of those and the tv we got for him had a dvd player attached it.