Mom had a full neurological assessment done almost 2 years ago and based on the results of the tests, the doctor said "shortly we would need to arrange 24/7 care either at her house or in Assisted Living". When it became obvious that she was at that point, we spent the last six months trying different 24/7 options for her at home since she did not want to leave there. Not only was that extremely expensive, there were still many times when someone called off or medical decisions needed to be made. We finally moved Mom into a large AL apartment last week (so it's been 6 days) and although she says everyone is very pleasant and the place is nice, she wants to go home because there's nothing wrong with her. Twice now, when I arrived, she has had all her things packed in garbage bags by the door. She refuses to sleep in the bed and spends the night on the couch. She also won't participate in any activities even though there are many things she would enjoy if she went. It is heartbreaking to have her cry and endlessly try to explain why it isn't safe for her to be at home and this is the best option.
I figure there is a transition period, especially with people who are convinced they are OK living on their own. So I'm wondering what others have experienced and if their LO eventually acclimated and was happy. Do you visit often or not? I've heard arguments on both sides. I definitely don't want her to feel abandoned but if I go too often, does that disrupt a routine she might finally establish?
And, finally, the angst around this is awful! I know I shouldn't feel guilty as we've tried everything we could to keep her home and it just wasn't working out. But, knowing something intellectually doesn't necessarily translate to accepting it emotionally.