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I recently worked part time in a NH facilty where my mother lives. She has been hospitalized twice in the past couple of weeks. My Dad who has had double knee surgery has needed my help of course. I had to call in the entire previous weekend as I was out of town near the hospital my mother was in. To be available for anything they need (hospital is 60 miles away). I returned to work last night. When I did I was made aware someone had ran to my supervisor stating I was not at the hospital. Another staff made a comment that I should be fired. I was also made aware of comments about my sister (who does not work there) in regards to how ofen she visits my mother. Obviously I am completely livid over this. I called the administrator today about all of it. Explained what had taken place. Expressed that I am fed up with the gossip and rumor mill along with the attitudes I catch from CNA's whether I am on the clock or not. She told me she has no control over what people say. She doesn't get involved with drama, she doesn't have time for it. And then proceeded to say if I felt more comfortable not working there they could take me off the schedule. As she was aware I had put my notice in. Which I feel is wrong. She's condoning a poor behavior within the staff. And she completely blew me off.


I feel had I been just a family member, instead of also an employee, she would have taken this issue more seriously.


Do I contact the state? What do I do? I don't even feel I can trust these people with my mother if they allow their staff to cause issues like this?

Well my mother is not elderly she is blind and disabled following long term illness. She isn't even 60. I am in no way worried about employment. This was a 2nd job (very part-time) that I took after she was admitted into this nh. There is absolutely no way she speaks poorly of any part of her family. We are very close. This is the dynamics of that workplace. It is a condoned poor behavior nothing is ever done about. Sadly turn over is high. My sister worked there as a cna for more than 3 yrs. She was tired of it and left. My reason for departure to begin with is to be available to my family when they need me. I didn't feel I could be reliable to the nh because so many medical happenings with my mom have taken place the past few weeks that I couldn't be there. Which I stated to my supervisor, before she ever hired me, that if anything serious was going on with either or both of my parents I would not be at work. I agree that this shouldn't be taken any further now that I have had enough time to cool down about it. I am comforted to know as soon as my Dad is healed from his surgeries, my mom will be going home.
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MargaretMcKen Nov 10, 2018
A good decision, and I hope that the pain of the situation fades very soon.
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No, I wouldn't take it any further. It's a he-said she-said situation and trying to explain such a situation makes someone sound petty. I'm not saying you're petty, just that relaying a he-said she-said situation to someone else sounds petty. I'd drop it and move on. Like shad250 said, this kind of thing frequently happens in NHs.
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Common in many NHs
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This is difficult. If two or perhaps three other staff members have all been making critical comments about you, there is a level of dislike for which there must be a reason. Can you guess what it is? Or is the gossip level running high about every staff member, and it is a truly toxic workplace? If you were fired, this might be something for the Union (if there is one, and you are a member), but if you had already given notice that isn’t an option. Unpleasant though this is, you may be best off simply walking away from it. I can see why the Administrator wants to walk away from it herself! I don't think the State is at all likely to intervene in this, and I don't think the Management Board would want to get involved either.

Are you sure that this isn’t related to your mother’s residence there? Your sister is also being criticised. Could it be that your mother has been telling nasty stories about both of you, and is being believed? Does mother have other visitors who might tell you what she says? Perhaps the most important thing is to be sure that your mother at least is being well treated.

It’s difficult to see how to resolve your own problems, at least in the near future. It’s possible that the dynamics will change in the future (eg your mother might deteriorate, or staff and management may change). You may be interested in employment there again (in some districts there aren’t a lot of jobs for older women), so it may be best to leave on a reasonable note if you can. You have my sympathy for a very tricky workplace problem.
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