Any tips would help. Here is the back story.
Basically back in begin of January my husband my husband got a call from his uncle stating his grandma was acting werid and thought she may of had a stroke. My husband drove 2.5 hrs to Pa to see his grandma and get her treatment. His uncle has lived with his mother since his own father died in late 80s. We thought it was his uncle that helped his own mom, but soon realized that it was Grandma that was paying for everything.
Finally in Feb, 34 days after falling Grandma passed with aid to Comfort Care. Then we started moving his uncle in with us. Now my husbands father passed in 2013 and always said his uncle was lazy, refused to shower and always loved off someone. We thought it was just talk. Since his uncle had always been there to support us. So naturally since in 2019 he lost his leg (below knee) to a infection that he states was a spider bite that was left for over year. Anyways, since moving I get no alone time with my husband till his uncle goes to bed. He has to go everywhere with my husband. He hasn't showered since our daughters dance Feb 12th. He doesn't give me clothes and he doesn't have much. He gets the mail and will give straight to my husband and I don't get to see it, he states this is not your mail. He stomps his cane at the cats and now they are peeing on everything. He has a house in Pa, but states it's to soon to make a decision on what will happen. The list goes on and on.
When I chat with my husband his take is I tell him to shower etc but he resets and I cant talk to him cause he seems to move on after we talk about.
So any tips on how we can handle this cause my husband is getting upset that I am always asking for him to correct this issue and set guidelines. He says he isnt going to push him to stay here or move out. That he talks to him but then it seems like he forgets. He says he is just in a funk. He is watching videos and repeats himself. He is only 68... HELP need structure as we have 4 kids (18 to 5 yrs), 12 cats, 3 dogs, a rabbit N live in a 4000sq ft home. Plus I run a cleaning business. I'm at my end with all this.