My sister has been caring for our father with mid to late stage alzheimers for about 3 years. He lives in an addition he built on her house with her family (husband and 2 high school aged kids). It’s a very supportive and loving environment and they do an excellent job caring for him. He loves it there but his presence has created a major strain on their family, especially the kids.
Dad owns a house a couple of towns over that we rent for $1200 per month. Sister puts all of the proceeds in his savings account because his pension more than covers his living expenses. Her son (oldest child) is a great kid and tremendous help to her in caring for his grandfather. He plans to attend college in the town my fathers house is in, which is about 20 minutes from my sister’s house. He had planned to commute from home but now he doesn’t want to because he’s just tired of everything that goes with the arrangement, which I can appreciate, especially at his age.
He wants to live in dads house while he attends college (rent free). He also wants to let a friend live there with him who will pay for their utilities but otherwise rent free too. My sister feels like they have earned the right to use dads house because of everything they go through caring for him. She thinks that if dad had a clear head he would want it that way. I’ve been pushing back because I think it’s entirely wrong. Now she wants to pay me half of what would have been the rent to make me whole from an inheritance perspective. Hello, he’s still alive. What if his health takes a major turn for the worst and he needs his money? Four years of free rent equals almost $60k in earnings for dad. She says that his insurance would cover any expenses related to that. Is it wrong for me to protest? I’m very interested in the opinion of others who are caretakers like my sister. After all, I’m not living it first hand like she is. Any advice would be most appreciated. Thank you.