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My mom is in a great facility, but we're paying for skilled nursing that she doesn't need, and she's an hour and a half away from me. I'm considering moving her to memory care/personal care closer to my home. But am worried about the strain the change would put on her. In the end I think we will all be much better off, but want to reduce her distress as much as possible. I can't really talk to her about it, she won't remember or understand.

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I agree with Jeanne, above, I would have recommended the same thing.
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A move might be hard on her, but having more contact with loved ones may very well offset that.

Move as much of her personal belongings as you can to the new location. This is not the time to buy a new bedspread or a fancy knick-knack shelf. Keep as much as you can familiar.

I know that some facilities recommend no visiting for a week or two, to allow the resident to settle in. Personally, I think it is better to spend as much time as possible there at first. Go with your mom to any activities you think she might enjoy. Don't spend your visits holed up in her room with just the two of you. Go into a community room and work on a puzzle or play cards. Invite any resident who happens to be in the room to join you. Eat some meals with your mother, but at a table with other residents. Help her get used to the new environment without getting dependent on your presence.

There may be some bumps on the road, but I think you are moving in the right direction!
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