They told me Mom now needs 24 hr care for her dementia. What do I do?


She is being discharged from rehab this weekend and I was told she will need 24 hr care. If she goes home, it's too expensive for in home care. How do I go about finding care for her? I'm not ready to put her in a home, but I guess it's time.

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Tpain -- you must be frazzled out of your mind. But many on this site have traveled this road so let's see what we can all do to help. Not every suggestion will be appropriate for you but I will try to throw out a few ideas. Are there other sibs and what was she in rehab for?
* She isn't near you now but (personally) if I was ready to move a loved one, it would be near to me or other family members. (In fact, this is what I did with my Mom when she needed memory care.)
* Assuming you have POA and health care proxy, assess her finances. Most assisted living memory care places are private pay. Is there money to pay for that level of care?
Ditto for in-home care. I actually found that there wasn't much difference between memory care costs vs. live in help.
* Stall the release from rehab. It won't be forever but it may buy you more time.
* As a first step, you can arrange for a live-in aide in her own home. You really want to minimize the number of time you move her. AND, before you bring in outside help, remove ALL items of value and financial documents. AND direct mail to the POA's address so statements don't arrive at Mom's house where they can be misplaced.
* Visit memory care facilities to assess what is important to you. Get an idea of the cost to see if it is in Mom's budget. If you are lucky and she has saved for a rainy day --- trust me, this is IT!
OK this is more that anyone can handle at one time. I hope I haven't overwhelmed you. Let us know
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Hmm......I've never heard of a rehab facility discharging a patient with no home care plan in place. If she has no one to care for her......sounds odd. I think there are some others around this site who might know more about this than me. I hope they will chime in, but, I just can't imagine they would take the liability of sending a person home when they are not able to care for themselves.

So, is she physically infirmed or does she need the care due to dementia? Have they conducted a professional assessment? The assessment is normally a standardized form that the doctor signs. It lists the medical conditions, abilities, needs she has for her daily activities, etc. Without that, I'm not sure how you would know where she needs to be. How would they expect at home around the clock care? Not many people can afford that, that's why they go to facilities.

Who's the Durable POA and Healthcare POA?
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She is physically healthy with exception of a pacemaker which has been in place for years. Rehab said she had to have 24hr care at home. She lives alone, a ways from me. I work full time and have my own family to care for. Rehab is just discharging her with no offer of help.
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I might have them do an assessment to see just what type of help she needs, such as Assisted Living, Memory Care, or nursing home? Your profile says that she has dementia, is that right? What are her physical and medical issues? It may help to know just what she needs help with, so you know what to look for.

I know that when I first placed my LO in a regular AL, it worked okay, but, soon afterwards, her dementia increased and she needed Memory Care. I hope you can find some answers. Maybe, the rehab facility can assist you in finding suitable placement. I know that you may have misgivings about a facility, but, I'd do my research and visit some to ease your mind. I'm not sure about the costs of inhome, around the clock care, but, I think it's pretty expensive.
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