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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She has been stuck on scam after scam for over 9 months. She has given over $9k away. She obsesses about winning money everyday from sunup to sundown. This affects her lifestyle and relationships.
Fraudulent telemarketing is a crime. Often, when a victim is caught up in the excitement and fog of fraud, they cannot see it for what it is. Failing to intervene when a vulnerable senior is being swindled goes way beyond simply letting them make a poor decision. It is fiduciary neglect that can make the difference between them having money to pay for their care and being left with nothing. They don’t know they are being swindled. Someone has to step up and do damage control.
I assume you can't take her phone away. Turn ringer off on phone. She can still call out but won't know that she is getting a call. Worked for us. You can monitor with others devices if you need to. Call Alz origination for suggestions.
Why does she have access to giving money to these scammers? I do not understand why this has gone on for over nine months ! ? ? ?
OF COURSE ... 'this affects her lifestyle and relationships" - you're talking about $9,000 - so far.
I wonder WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? figuring you know she's lost $9K+ over the nine months. What have you been doing all these months?
You need to BLOCK her however is necessary from these situations - be it credit card, bank card, phone ... * Cancel her credit cards. * Block her bank card. * Internet / web apps * Call phone company to see about how you can set up / limit her usage.
Do whatever you need to do. If you aren't on her legal documents to make some decisions on her behalf, you need to contact an attorney yesterday to see what you can do.
You first - or concurrently - need to get a letter from her MD stating that she is not able to manage her self-care / finances. You have the evidence, and her MD should already be fully on board with these changes.
If you feel you need more support, hire an ind medical social worker to help you.
If you don’t live with her, try having her mail forwarded to you at your address. We did this with my MIL (until we moved her in with us) and it helped a small bit as she would obsess over every piece of mail. If the sweepstakes people are calling her on her phone, you can always think about changing her phone number.
If she is stuck on scam, Call the police, maybe she can get money back. That worked for my loved one. Someone from senior services came to our house and talked it through and that really helped stop the scam. in Pennsylvania
The Police too often have limited staff to take such calls, at least in my Northern CA region. The scam victim should file a police report and with the FTC. Document in writing with dates and time stamps likely gets better fraud reports.
You must document notes and letters instead of telephoning to stop their crazy sweepstakes or other junk mail. Using the phone may require long wait times and is not always the best method. If money has been sent, report it to FTC.
My banking experience has proved useful. I have sent all those past PCH offers with my note "Please return, no longer interested" on their mail without even opening them to stop all their incoming mail.
I just turned down an incoming auto insurance offer from my bank's referral to hope this mail stops. I will not send money to who I do not authorize to. This item was alerted in my USPS email, so I took a pen to my mailbox, wrote my message on my incoming unwanted mail and immediately mailed it back without opening that envelope.
Your mother can no longer handle her financial affairs with her dementia, so you must now take her her money management. Follow many readers' advices. Freeze her credit bureaus so she cannot open more credit cards in her name.
It's time to get your mother her doctor's evaluation and yourselves a lawyer. Hope you have POA for your mother who is losing funds needed for her care.
If she requires Medicaid for her care someday, giving away money to these scamming-type PCH's is like gifting, a violation of Medicaid rules to ineligibily. You have to obtain control of her finances now to prevent further losses.
Completely take over your mother's money and mail to your name and Stop all junk mail and block unwanted callers.
Another idea ... have someone NOT mail the items out. Another question is ... what activity does mom have besides doing the mail?
My dad does the mail as his "job" and we have been working for months to figure out how to keep him "doing his job" and stop all the $'s going out the door. He does NOT have dementia and we were able to make a list of organizations he can donate to (tax deductible) and a list to really think about before he gives to them (not tax deductible). PCH isn't even on a list as it is an "absolutely not" . The "OK" list has a green line on every page (4 pages) and the "think about" has red on the page of two columns. Yes, he gave to every one of the organizations in 2024. Old age is crazy and that we have little to no recourse in this nation when a parent or child or friend is overspending on "junk" mail induced stuff or Facebook induced stuff or .... I plan to set up "rules" for myself and husband for my kids to apply if we do this sort of thing. The words will be mine in an email or something. This stuff will drive us all crazy and into the poor house!
I think a lot of older folks thinks, "If I just send them $15.00, they'll stop asking for money." That was what my dad thought, so he was always writing out checks for $15.00 to various charities. You might want to simply ask them to remove your dad from their mailing list. It may take months, but eventually the money requests will stop.
Can you have her mail forwarded to you? If she has dementia, you should also think about getting POA for her and managing her bills. If she questions why she is no longer receiving these sweepstakes offers, you can tell her that it was found to be fraudulent and they are no longer allowed to mail.
Does she have a network of friends or family members whom you could motivate to write letters or cards to her? She may simply be lonely and this fantasy is giving her joy to replace the lack of human interaction. Prompting her friends and family to call her on a regular basis, or stop by for a visit, or simply mail a fun card or letter may help to ease her feeling of isolation.
Call them and tell them to stop the mailings. I did that and I also mailed in a letter telling them I would file a complaint that they were scamming if they sent any more sweepstakes mailings. They said they couldn’t stop any offers that were already in the mail, but after maybe one more PCH letter. the mail stopped.
I had to go the guardianship route. Some things helped. Change her address to yours. Tell post office the mailbox is vacant to stop junk mail. Cut all credit, take all forms of ID to your home. She cannot open accounts without IDs. Change her phone number to an unlisted one. Do not give her the new number but program her immediate contacts. And notify only her close contacts who will not clue her in She can keep giving away her old number. If she has a land line. You might be able to forward incoming calls to your number but you have to answer her callers quickly to intercept.
Key info is not to tell her what you are doing. My main question with dementia at this level is that she should no longer be alone.
I had the same problem. Mom kept “entering” the sweepstakes by buying all the crap they were selling as her form of entry. Dishtowels, pots & pans-stupid stuff that she then tried to “gift” to me! I found every contact I could for PCH and emailed, phoned and mailed letters telling them to please help me & that my mom had dementia and didn’t know what she was doing. They finally responded and said they would remove her from their list and cease all mailings. Don’t give up! Contact them non stop until you get a response. It CAN be done.
ok - so mother isnt of sound mind anymore. You need poa and to alert banks no further payments to these sites. She is vulnerable. I would also change her account and only allow a small spending account with pocket money in it. Wonder if you could stop the bank issuing any funds without the security back up ok from you. I have set up a two stage security on my account so if i try to spend it then sends me a text to authorise the expenditure before it is allowed? Maybe speak to a bank manager and ask them how they can help? Wonder if she will believe it if you said theres been news alerts on scammers and banks are no longer allowing payments to these places?
Mother sounds like she has a gambling addiction now - like drinking or drugs - needs professional help? Can you recall anything that triggered this? Maybe shes lonely and its a way of filling the void. A lot of hoarders tend to rely on the buzz of spending to feel better. Maybe the doctor can recommend a counsellor to speak with mother and see whats going on why the obsession.
I had this same problem with Mom. At 1st I didn't know she had dementia. Then I noticed there was an awful lot of mail going out to sweepstakes and for donations of support. I had over 1,000 letters she was responding to. I took photos for proof. I started to take the outgoing mail, open it and destroy the checks. I was eventually made her fiduciary for her veterans benefits check. I'm joint owner on her accounts at the credit union. I solved the problem with all the mailings by opening up and writing on the return inserts 'Remove address from mailing list!!!' In big bright letters. I also signed up for informed mail with USPS. I get an email everyday showing me what I'm getting in the mail. I wanted to get a PO Box but getting the mail is one of her daily things she does along with getting the paper. So I just watch and things I dont want her to have I get before her. If I don't get it. She puts on her dresser and I go and take it. She doesn't remember she had it. She's 94, diagnosed with dementia since 2019 but I believe she's had it longer. She's still very active. I keep her busy with exercise at senior center, Planet Fitness and at KPop events. We have a lot of fun together. Love my Mom!
Given that she has been diagnosed with dementia, if you or someone else has durable power of attorney, you can use that along with a letter from her neurologist stating that she is no longer capable of handling her own financial affairs to have her claimed an “incapacitated person” with her bank, social security, and any other entity connected to her money. Cancel her credit cards and get new ones in your name. Freeze her credit with all 3 companies so she can’t apply for new cards.
If you must, get her a debit card with a low limit and monitor it daily. But if at all possible be sure it does not have overdraft protection. Best is they just refuse to allow the transaction if it’s over the limit.
It will take some time to get this all sorted out as each place will have different forms on top of the DPOA and the letter from the neurologist. Then you have to take over all the bill paying, tax filing, etc. She will likely be very angry and her new obsession will become trying to get around you. Keep blaming it on the doctor or whomever else.
This is what I did when my dad was making terrible investment decisions, losing a lot of his retirement money, and also giving it away to almost any charity that asked. Then I also monitored his mail (physical and email) as much as I could and contacted each charity and explained why he needed to be removed from their lists. They were generally cooperative but it takes forever to get it stamped out. If you can have all her mail forwarded to a PO Box where only you have they key, it might be better.
if she is doing this online, you may be able to log into whatever account (like you are her) then change the password or username or even block the sites. Maybe those “net nanny” software can block whatever sites?
I could not monitor his phone but eventually he forgot how to use it.
You contact PCH by email and tell them to remove Mom of their mailing a call lists, act like her. Any junk mail she gets with a self-address envelope enclosed you put the inserts back in with her address showing. Circle that, and put " take this name and anyother name associated with this address off your mailing list. Other scams I have been able to email. Go online to the do not call list and no junk mail list. Do not buy magazine subscriptions in Her name. No contests where she wins a car or trip. And PCH is big on selling their mailing lists.
Call moms doctor for calming meds also. She's stuck in loop thinking which is common with dementia. Remove her credit cards, checkbook and means of getting money too.
Also, remove her smartphone, iPad, computer, mail—anything that makes it possible for anyone other than her actual friends and family to access her and anything that can store credit card information. If she asks, you can tell her something like, “Oh, that was made illegal in our state.” Also, you will need to try to replace the sweepstakes with another activity.
If she's diagnosed with dementia and is taken advantage of by scammers, she should no longer have control of her finances. Your next step is to find out how to become her money manager.
If you have her POA, not so difficult. If you don't, that's a problem, and you need to figure out how to proceed. Lawyer time!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
People are allowed to make good, poor or terrible decisions.
Some people with cognition problems may benefit from supported decision making.
Certain people will lack capacity in certain decision-making areas.
Which is true?
Are all true?
Where does Mom's level of cognition & financial decision making lay?
Who is authorised to make that decision? A Doctor? Lawyer? Other professional?
Or does a next of kin step in & act to avoid further harm being done?
Big issues. There is medicine. There is law. There is care & common sense. I hope you find some answers that provide useful ideas that can help you.
I do not understand why this has gone on for over nine months ! ? ? ?
OF COURSE ... 'this affects her lifestyle and relationships" -
you're talking about $9,000 - so far.
I wonder WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? figuring you know she's lost $9K+ over the nine months. What have you been doing all these months?
You need to BLOCK her however is necessary from these situations - be it credit card, bank card, phone ...
* Cancel her credit cards.
* Block her bank card.
* Internet / web apps
* Call phone company to see about how you can set up / limit her usage.
Do whatever you need to do.
If you aren't on her legal documents to make some decisions on her behalf, you need to contact an attorney yesterday to see what you can do.
You first - or concurrently - need to get a letter from her MD stating that she is not able to manage her self-care / finances. You have the evidence, and her MD should already be fully on board with these changes.
If you feel you need more support, hire an ind medical social worker to help you.
Gena / Touch Matters
That worked for my loved one. Someone from senior services came to our house and talked it through and that really helped stop the scam.
in Pennsylvania
And Block unauthorized callers.
My banking experience has proved useful. I have sent all those past PCH offers with my note "Please return, no longer interested" on their mail without even opening them to stop all their incoming mail.
I just turned down an incoming auto insurance offer from my bank's referral to hope this mail stops. I will not send money to who I do not authorize to. This item was alerted in my USPS email, so I took a pen to my mailbox, wrote my message on my incoming unwanted mail and immediately mailed it back without opening that envelope.
It's time to get your mother her doctor's evaluation and yourselves a lawyer. Hope you have POA for your mother who is losing funds needed for her care.
If she requires Medicaid for her care someday, giving away money to these scamming-type PCH's is like gifting, a violation of Medicaid rules to ineligibily. You have to obtain control of her finances now to prevent further losses.
Completely take over your mother's money and mail to your name and Stop all junk mail and block unwanted callers.
Another question is ... what activity does mom have besides doing the mail?
My dad does the mail as his "job" and we have been working for months to figure out how to keep him "doing his job" and stop all the $'s going out the door. He does NOT have dementia and we were able to make a list of organizations he can donate to (tax deductible) and a list to really think about before he gives to them (not tax deductible). PCH isn't even on a list as it is an "absolutely not" . The "OK" list has a green line on every page (4 pages) and the "think about" has red on the page of two columns. Yes, he gave to every one of the organizations in 2024.
Old age is crazy and that we have little to no recourse in this nation when a parent or child or friend is overspending on "junk" mail induced stuff or Facebook induced stuff or ....
I plan to set up "rules" for myself and husband for my kids to apply if we do this sort of thing. The words will be mine in an email or something. This stuff will drive us all crazy and into the poor house!
If she has dementia, you should also think about getting POA for her and managing her bills.
If she questions why she is no longer receiving these sweepstakes offers, you can tell her that it was found to be fraudulent and they are no longer allowed to mail.
Does she have a network of friends or family members whom you could motivate to write letters or cards to her? She may simply be lonely and this fantasy is giving her joy to replace the lack of human interaction.
Prompting her friends and family to call her on a regular basis, or stop by for a visit, or simply mail a fun card or letter may help to ease her feeling of isolation.
Key info is not to tell her what you are doing. My main question with dementia at this level is that she should no longer be alone.
Don’t give up! Contact them non stop until you get a response. It CAN be done.
I would also change her account and only allow a small spending account with pocket money in it. Wonder if you could stop the bank issuing any funds without the security back up ok from you. I have set up a two stage security on my account so if i try to spend it then sends me a text to authorise the expenditure before it is allowed? Maybe speak to a bank manager and ask them how they can help? Wonder if she will believe it if you said theres been news alerts on scammers and banks are no longer allowing payments to these places?
Mother sounds like she has a gambling addiction now - like drinking or drugs - needs professional help? Can you recall anything that triggered this? Maybe shes lonely and its a way of filling the void. A lot of hoarders tend to rely on the buzz of spending to feel better. Maybe the doctor can recommend a counsellor to speak with mother and see whats going on why the obsession.
If you must, get her a debit card with a low limit and monitor it daily. But if at all possible be sure it does not have overdraft protection. Best is they just refuse to allow the transaction if it’s over the limit.
It will take some time to get this all sorted out as each place will have different forms on top of the DPOA and the letter from the neurologist. Then you have to take over all the bill paying, tax filing, etc. She will likely be very angry and her new obsession will become trying to get around you. Keep blaming it on the doctor or whomever else.
This is what I did when my dad was making terrible investment decisions, losing a lot of his retirement money, and also giving it away to almost any charity that asked. Then I also monitored his mail (physical and email) as much as I could and contacted each charity and explained why he needed to be removed from their lists. They were generally cooperative but it takes forever to get it stamped out. If you can have all her mail forwarded to a PO Box where only you have they key, it might be better.
if she is doing this online, you may be able to log into whatever account (like you are her) then change the password or username or even block the sites. Maybe those “net nanny” software can block whatever sites?
I could not monitor his phone but eventually he forgot how to use it.
Good luck, I have been there!
If she asks, you can tell her something like, “Oh, that was made illegal in our state.”
Also, you will need to try to replace the sweepstakes with another activity.
If you have her POA, not so difficult. If you don't, that's a problem, and you need to figure out how to proceed. Lawyer time!