Wanted to share my thanks to many of you who have commented/responded back over the last several years. More in my profile, but after a rather (thankfully) quick stay in the hospital and less than 12 hours at a lovely hospice home, my almost 87 YO mother passed the day after Christmas. She was laid to rest next to my father who proceeded her in death 50 years ago.

I have learned loads about Medicaid nursing home coverage over these past years; and about POAs, Advanced Directives, Wills/Trusts and lots about dementia, ADLs/IADLs and many other things. Thanks again for all who share/post to this site, it is of great help as we all work our ways through this journey of elder care and end of life issues for parents, spouses and/or other loved ones. The hugs, messages of support as well as sharing important knowledge has been so helpful.

Gosh, instead of some esoteric classes in college (or high school for that matter); it would have been so helpful to have had something about what to expect, what to do, how to navigate, who to call regarding this elder care/end of life part of life.

Families really do not talk about this at all, much less plan ahead in most cases. And it is often not until one is in the middle of trying to figure it out for a loved one due to a crisis; that we are thrust into this. Sometimes thrust into it years after have little or contact with the folks who need help. Sometimes totally enmeshed with the loved one who needs help; but who refuses to take any necessary steps for their safe and proper care.

Please talk with your adult kids if you have them, or your family members and/or close friends about all of this. Get with a lawyer. Get all your documents in order. Leaving everything as a hot mess at the 11th hour in crisis, helps no one--most importantly the loved one who needs care.

My journey will continue as I unpack and worth through the fall out of all that has gone past these last few years (and the years before). And get help if you need it from a talented therapist. I am and will still work with mine for years to come as part of my own healing.

May 2024 be a better year for you and yours and for your journey.

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What a beautiful update to us, Sohenc. Please stay around and share all you have learned with others who have to learn your hard fought skills. May your mom rest in peace. Wishing 2024 a good year for you.
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Well said.
I do hope that since you have learned so much, as we all do on our individual journeys, that you will remain active here so that you can share what you have learned.
It is much easier for someone starting the journey to travel a path that has been walked before.
((hugs)) I'm glad your mom is now at peace.
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Well said. Thank you for your heartfelt and excellent advice.
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I am so lucky I have an RN for a daughter. She has worked in NHs, been a unit manager and done some Administration so at 46 she understands Medicare and Medicaid. I agree, when planning retirement you should have a seminar on how these both work. Social Security when you enter the work force. If I know what I know now, I may have worked my last 20 yrs full-time.
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