Feeling sad going through late Mom's 20-year-old checks and bank statements. Can anyone relate?

Thank you all for taking the time to post your kind replies. I find it comforting and less lonely to hear from others who share similar attachments or share their own particular ones.

Last night I cleaned out the pen container on Mom’s kitchen counter. Most were standard office supply pens, half missing lids, but the vase itself was something Dad made in the late 60s or early 70s and had always sat on either Mom’s desk or by the phone in the kitchen. He’s been gone years, she’s just a few minutes away in an unpleasant living situation, they were divorced for decades, but it was the most alone I’ve ever felt. She’s not going to grab a pen to do The NY Times crossword, tally bridge scores with her friends, or like your mom, balance her checkbook to the penny.

I’m sitting with you and those checkbooks, supporting you and wishing you the best.

I took over momma's finances after we lost dad 12 years ago. I saw their checks written out for bills, services and many many checks to my siblings. I didn't realize how much financial support they helped with my siblings then me. I could have used a little bit of help after my divorce but that was years ago. In my opinion they might have helped them out too much because they have been expecting the money to continue.. I have had to tighten things up and protect momma and her finances because they were taking advantage of her. I still have some of those records because it shows dad's handwriting and I can't bare to throw them away.

When my husband became his parents' guardian, I did their finances. Going through their check register was a journey of their life. The written notes showed that they had sat down together and balanced their checkbook each month until his dementia left it to her alone. In those last years, her handwriting and trouble with numbers reflected the beginning and the worsening of her vascular dementia.

In those last years of doing the checkbook alone, MIL had sent checks to a variety of organizations that asked for money. She didn't send anyone more than $5.00, but it looked like everyone who asked received a donation. She had an extensive collection of address stickers. I found it all rather endearing, her husband would have had a fit if he had known.

I look on these things of memory as a great gift.
As a way to come back close to the ones we lost.

When my brother died I spent a year writing him the long letters we always exchanged whenever we were not living in the same city throughout our long lives. I told him all I saw, the times I thought of him, how his ex-partner was doing, who won the elections, what kimono I sewed, what flies I tied, and so on. I decorated these books of letters and photos with collage. It was so peaceful for me and such a zen. Made me feel close again.

I can so identify with what you say.

My mom was one of the last of the genearation that never used a debit card or credit card when a check could be written. It was maddening to shop with her, because she would dither about while the salesperson was ringing her up and wouldn't start to write the check until she was satisfied she hadn't been overcharged.

I used to take her shopping and I would quietly tell the people in line behind us that she was going to be a while and maybe they'd want to use another line.

Mom balanced her checkbook to the penny every single month.

I'm pretty sure my kids don't know how to write checks!

And yes, looking at her checkbook was kind of like reading her diary.