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My mother and I go to church every Sunday, then out to eat. She has dementia and mobility problems (rollator at about 1 mile a day :). In the restaurant she talks about the same things and often says bad things about people. It's the same each week. I hold my tongue, because Sunday is her day.

When we get home, the same thing happens each week. I hit the bed and sleep away the rest of the day. No, I shouldn't be that tired. I also noticed I get very sleepy after doing anything with my mother during the day, such as going to the doctor and out to eat. The only thing I can figure is that it is so stressful holding myself and my tongue back that I have to reset my body and mind.

Does this happen to anyone else? I'd like to say it's a power nap, but these naps last around 3 hours. Yikes.

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i wear other people out. many times after i take aunt edna out for a couple hours she gets back home and starts telling me that id better get home and get me some rest. after she says this a couple of times i tell her " yes, my eyelids are getting heavy " . its comical . shes asleep before i get to the elevator..
i can take a hint..
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I used to hear parents of babies talking about how if you get a chance to take a nap you should do it...let me tell you, once I get Mama settled down and all her needs met, you better believe I get my little blanket and take a nap. The way I have her set up, the sofa is right at the foot of her bed so if she needed anything I would hear it....but oddly the naps during the day seem more energizing than sleeping with one ear open at night....I look forward to those little naps like some people look forward to going on a vacation...and for me right now it's the only time out i get...
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Hi there Jesse

I would have to say.... that yes it is the stress? Also it has become a habit for you and your body knows it's your nap day and you sleep really well ? :)

Like you, I get tired when doing things with my mom. Simply because she complains the entire time and it sucks me dry ( like your sponge theory)...at times I wonder why I still bother to make her do things.

How can you get away napping hours? :My mom barely sleeps at night much less me being able to nap during the day. By 6 every morning she's at my door asking if I am awake. This goes on for an hour or so...
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I go through the same things with my mom. She moves super slow, can only hear about 25 percent of what I say (on a good day) and she won't get a hearing aid. She says weird, borderline racist things to people, or just odd insulting or off-kilter stuff, or rambles endlessly. After any outing with her I feel totally drained. I'm guessing it's a combination of just having to be "on" for hours and maybe depression or feeling depressed as a result.
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Baby, I almost called an ambulance to come pick me up after the last time Mom and I went out 5 years ago. The Puerto Rican Day Parade. It was hot & steamy. Pretending to dance salsa, she grabbed a studly NYPD cop by the hand; calling him "Papi chulo" as he spun her around a couple of times just to be nice.

I didn't just take a nap when I got home. I passed out. She was off her chain.
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Also, Sunday afternoon naps are one of the great joys of life :)
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Bill....you are too funny, and a d**n nice man at that!

So many similarities with dementia. I pray to God I don't start harping on how people look or what they or anything for that matter. Not sure about your mom Jesse but mine never said things like she does now. It's rather embarrassing at times.... I kind of do a "wink wink" so people understand.

It appears they are always on their best behavior when around other people....the caregiver gets the brunt of the anger/bad behavior. Duck / water/ stick / stones/ it just makes you tired.

My only friends are in FL. They honestly do their best to understand...even they now are starting to dwindle with me and keeping in touch.

Click click click.... I want to go home

You can do this Jessee....bless YOU for doing it
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Jesse I understand.. It is soooo emotionly draining caring for a dementia patient..

I refuse to take my out to eat. My sister comes on Sunday and will take Mom out after Mass, but not me! I spend 24\7 with her and if I get a chance to eat out I want it to be relaxing... I'll get take out for Mom but after the last time we were out and she embarrassed me with remarks about the "fat" lady, I said never again...She doesn't appreciate it anyway so why bother.?
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I also take three hour naps almost everyday. I hate it! I have no energy and am always drinking tons of coffee. Its a viscious cycle for me and i wish i didnt do it! Blood work tomorrow, but im sure that will be good as usual. Doctor says its depression. Great! He added that too my chart after 5 years or so taking anxiety medication. So now im depressed too? His answer to me was theres nothing else i can do for you but refer you to a phyciatrist. Then you need to stop smoking, excercise, get off your meds and all will be jolly again. Looks good on paper i suppose! What a life! I feel ya sista :)
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Hi Jessie - My mother is completely immobile and I too get so wiped out after an outing. In your case, it sounds emotionally and physically taxing. Don't feel guilty about napping. You deserve it for taking your Mom out. My family never does. It's always up to me!
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