Mom has been battling with RA for over 10years. We put her in assisted living last month when her needs became more than my daughter and I could handle. This morning they called an ambulance for her. She was admitted with a UTI and blood clot in each lung. She’s been in pain for so long that I just want her to be at peace. I feel horrible about this.

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Just hugs. Is your daughter around at the moment? Hope you have support getting through this, it's a dreadful time.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Countrymouse

Please don't feel guilty. Her needs are more than you can handle so what is the alternative? There isn't one is there.

I wonder how many elderly parents have died under someone's watch because the caregiver was worried about hurting their parents feelings. I bet it has happened a lot.

You've done the sensible, most unselfish thing even if you don't know it now. Wanting it to be over is a love feeling not something you should ever feel guilt about. Of course you don't want her to suffer anymore. That's love!

Be at peace with yourself.
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Reply to Gershun

Thank you. I will know more in the morning. We needed Hospice for my father years ago. They were absolutely an amazing resource to help us through the process. Mom’s Doctor hasn’t mentioned the need for them yet however.
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Reply to Flightymom

Please accept that your wishing for her to no longer in pain is not something over which you should feel guilt. You kept her at home as long as you were able. UTIs are very common in the elderly, they are not anyone's fault. Blood clots are not uncommon and unfortunately the medication to treat them can have unintended consequences. But there are treatments for both UTIs and Blood Clots, talk to the doctor and ask what her prognosis is, is she ready for Hospice?

We all will die one day, to be able to die without pain is something most of us would want for ourselves and our loved ones.
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Reply to Tothill

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