Six months ago Mom was diagnosed with early-to-mid-stage Alzheimer's dementia. Before the official diagnosis, her decline in cognition had been apparent to her family for at least 6-7 years. To conceal her memory loss, Mom isolated herself from friends over the years and amazingly still manages to fool them into thinking she is "alright." I should mention that even before the diagnosis Mom has always been negative, self-absorbed, grandiose, blaming everyone but herself for her self-inflicted woes. Mom takes no responsibility for her emotions. It's always someone else (myself, my sister, or my father, etc) answerable for her misery and dissatisfaction, and the dementia only worsens her negativity. When my father passed away last year, my sister and I (against our better instincts) offered to have Mom move in with one or the other of us, which she refused. So, upon her MD's recommendation, my sister and I placed Mom in memory care. After 6 months, Mom has yet to settle in. She insists she doesn't belong there and scorns the scheduled activities. My sister and I call Mom regularly and take her out (often multiple times a week) for lunch dates, shopping excursions, church; anything we think she might enjoy, not to mention getting her to her doctor and dental appointments. In the meantime, as her POA I manage Mom's property, bills, and finances, making sure her needs (and many of her wants) are met. Mom is seldom thankful for any of our efforts. She complains about my sister and I to anyone who will listen, saying we "take advantage of her," "have no compassion," etc. I think she's looking for sympathy and strangely enough, often gets it from people who don't know any better. Here's my take on all of this: Mom's dementia is exacerbated by her narcissism. I have ceased trying to attribute her conduct to one or the other or both. What difference does it make, anyway? My sister and I still have to deal with the character assassination, the utter lack of gratitude, and constant complaints and demands. Thank God Mom didn't move in with us. In light of years of emotional abuse at her hand, I'm amazed I ever made the offer to begin with. So today, here's my question to any and all who have dealt with similar situation: Mom constantly demands to be removed from her current memory care to assisted living. My sister and I have explored other options but none (other than memory care) meet Mom's genuine needs for supervision and safety. How do we best respond to Mom's demands? Reasoning is useless; her lack of cognition prevents understanding, and at this point in her cognition, she's impossible to redirect. Mom seldom remembers much from day to day about our conversations on this topic; at most, all she remembers is her own feelings of outrage at our "failure" to cave in to her demands. I am exhausted with all of it. Please help!