Mom is 84 and lives with us. Starting to lose words, unable to find the right word (usually a noun) and getting cranky. Lately she takes EVERYTHING personally, and thinks we believe she's "always wrong," even something that's just a different view. Typical conversation:
Mom: It's much cooler today, isn't it?
Granddaughter, age 21 and exceedingly polite and deferential to her grandmother: "Oh gosh, it feels warm to me but that's probably because I've been running around with the dogs."
Mom: <really snottily> "Oh. Well I'm wrong then. Again."
It's like this EVERY time she states an opinion. If we don't immediately and completely agree, she takes great offense and gets into a snit because "we're picking on her" and "you think I'm always wrong." Now she's taken to saying "I know!" indignantly when we tell her anything. Typical conversation:
Me: "Mom, you have a doctor's appointment on Friday at 4 pm."
Mom: "I know!"
Me: "Oh ok, well I"m just looking at my planner and thinking out loud; I got a reminder call so thought I'd just mention it."
Mom: "Yeah, I KNOW!"
This happens even when it's something I am CERTAIN she DOESN'T know, like the fact that we still have cat food on the shelf:
Mom: "We need cat food."
Me: "Hmm, I thought I bought it last time I was at the store. Let me check.... yes, there's a box of cans on the shelf."
Mom: <indignant> "I KNOW!"
HOW do I deal with this? Should we just always agree with her, no matter what? Is that a fair expectation?
What is this? Her anger is really impacting my family. We are so kind, helpful, and work so hard to reduce all stress for her, and we just get this resentment. If we moved, or she lived alone, she would not be able to live. She doesn't drive, uses a walker, and relies on us for almost everything from her laundry to her groceries to her mail to bathing. All of which we perform gladly and with a smile. It's getting so hard and I am so tired. My husband, daughter (home from college now, in the summer) are saints, but I feel badly. Daughter confided that she can't wait to go back to college, but it's her senior year, and I know she'll have to come back next May. We used to have such a happy home.
I guess I'm just venting. I feel like I have no one to bounce this off of and am really at loose ends. Thanks for listening.