My 80 year old dad just had prostrate surgery to help but it takes him sooo long to undo pants, change his depends and redress. He is trying to do all of this himself but his mobility problems just exhausts him and he won't allow me to help.

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I had to "disappear" the jeans and replace them with elastic waisted pants the next size up. I found Mom trying to get her pants unbuttoned with a knitting needle because her hands weren't that strong. Clever though! Also, cotton on cotton friction with long-sleeved shirts and jackets/fleece is difficult. If you can pin point the trouble, you can increase independence. It takes some spying, though it's worth trying for every shred of dignity you can save. Oh, and keeping things within reach. Just picking up something from the floor is difficult. We took the trash can out from under the sink. Too much effort.
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Do you think you could get someone else in there to help him. It's mostly pride that pushes him into exhaustion. Do you have a husband that might be able to help with the dressing. Having someone outside of the circle. And someone his gender might make things more comfortable. I know with my mom she wouldn't let me near her. But now that she see's how much easier and faster I am when I help her it's more a relief. She 91 with dementia and is slowly losing her ablilities. But the pride factor is still there. In fact I would say it has multiplied since the dementia. Ask him what he thinks? But respect his wishes, if it takes him a long time to do and exhausts him.. it's his choice. But kudo for you, for wanting to be there for him.
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