The cost is prohibit able even without health issues.

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Respite and Nursing Home care does not have contracts with V.A. The benefits are paid directly to Vet or spouse. VA benfits WILL NOT be enough to cover the cost your asking about here. Look into a VA nursing home, if one is available in your area. Each state has them, but they might not be close to you. HERE'S A LINK FOR YOU.
There are conditions that must be met.
A veteran cannot receive both Aid and Attendance and Housebound benefits at the same time, but they can receive a penion and ONE of these benefits. The paperwork is extensive and you'll have to provide many documentation. Once submitted the benefits if granted are retroactive to applying because processing can easily take 6 mos. I don't recommend doing it yourself because IF THERE IS AN ERROR in the application, lacking proper documentation, or not completely filled out, you have to start all over and it is not considered retroactive anymore since it was wrong. CONTACT your LOCAL V.A they have staff that will help you.
If your Mother gets sick, and your Father qualified for these benefits, she qualifies also if conditions are met. Yes, spouses qualify whether vet is alive or dead providing the vet meets the standard for benefits.
I hope this helps
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