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She has dementia and I need help with in home care. Your website information is confusing. On one hand it says there is help available, then again it answers my question by saying "the VA does not provide services for "non veteran" spouses" which is totally not related to the question. I believe it would be more beneficial for me to speak with someone over the phone. My daughter and I care for my mother in our home. She is 98 years old. I am having a difficult time getting help for her through Medicare. The state wants me to provide information going back five years, which I don't have. She has been evaluated as nursing home eligible, however I want to take care of her as we always promised. I don't understand why it's so difficult for me. I have seen others get home care help, in home therapy, visiting nurses, music therapy, meals on wheels and any other available services. We are ordinary poor people. My mother's resources are meager, a burial fund of about $7600 (no life insurance). Please help me. Thanks, Roxiann

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Also there is a little known program that will help pay for care of some veterans spouses nursing home care. Not sure what the qualifications are. Talk to a social worker at the VA
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You didn't say if your father had service-connection for any injury/illnesses related to his WWII service. Please check with your local DAV, VFW, etc.
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I don't know what state you live in but in CA your mom can take the burial money and make arrangements. That means she doesn't have the money. As for the medical secondary insurance. They will help you with help.
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My mother is also the surviving spouse of a deceased WWII veteran. She has Alzheimer's and I am her full time caretaker. She gets survivors benefits from the VA. In fact the amount she eventually is awarded will be retroactive from the day you apply. The process is not too complicated. You must fill out certain forms, get her doctors verification regarding her condition and necessity of a caregiver and submit sll forms to the VA. If you have a VA office near you, the personnel there can be very helpful in getting you the appropriate forms to fill out and helping you through the process. Good luck. Your mom is entitled to these benefits. They are enormously helpful to me in taking care of her.
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buffy, she's already getting a pension? did he retire from service?
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I am going through the same thing. I was told by DAV that the only help in her care is to get Aid and Attendance/DIC which is over and above the pension she receives from VA as a widow of a veteran. My dilemma is VA won't do anything more than the Aid and Attendance and we have to pay private care.
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JK, some veterans' benefits are income dependent; others are not. It's not easy to navigate the VA's rules.

Veterans' service organizations such as American Legion and VFW provide FREE assistance in advising what your mother might qualify for, will prepare and submit the application for free as well.

Also research your county and state offices to see if they have veterans' agencies which would also offer free help.

These groups can prepare applications for what she might receive. Before you call, make a list of what kind of assistance you need - home care, medical care at the VA, etc.

You might also have to have the assistance of such a service or county organization to help you determine if your father's service connected disability was a factor in his death. If you don't have the sc/d papers, they can help you with that, I believe. You should also bring a copy of his death certificate.

You may have to get additional medical records relating to the sc/d, but ask the staff at the organization you visit to help guide you through the maze.
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My father was in WW11 and died in 2000. My mom lives with me and has Alzheimer's. I went to the local VA office and was told my mom makes too much money on SSI to get help. In order to receive another type of help from the VA I have to prove my father passed away from service related injuries. I really believe my father received disability from the VA, but my mom has lost all paperwork. The local VA offered no assistance in checking on this. Like you I am frustrated and have no idea what to do. Workers at Medicaid have really irritated me. I applied for my mother over 4 months ago. I went into office yesterday and they said they needed copies of savings account. They never contacted me concerning this. They were just sitting on it. Probably waiting until time ran out. So, I will continue to pay out of my pocket to provide home care for my mother. I will make her as comfortable and happy as I can in my home for the time she has left.
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I just spoke with a service officer at the Maryland Dept of Veterans Affairs to inquire if there is any help available to my Mom who is a widow. My Dad served in WWII in the US Navy. I was advised the Widows Pension would be available to her for Aide and Attendance as long as she did not have a monthly income level over $1,147. However you can count the costs for medications, supplies and paid help towards this, itemizing your deductions and it may help you qualify for assistance. It is with completing the application to see if you qualify. I my Moms case she does qualify. The only help she would be able to get without out of pocket is if she was in the Hospice Program. We are not quite there yet. We are trying to get a hospital bed to help her be more comfortable upon her return from the hospital as well as some in home health aide type care.
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please send me the address to request a form for financial assistance for a widow of a WW11 veteran
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I need the form to apply for widow of veteran benefits.
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I am a WW11 widow of a veteran living in an assisted living facility in Tucson. Please send me the form necessary to apply as my living expenses far exceed my husband's gov't civil service pension and my social security. I need help. Thank you.
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Also, if your mother can get a doctor's orders, it was easy for us her doctors were very willing to write them, she can get someone to come in and help with showers and bed changing and linen washing. A fall will usually make it easy to get this kind of help and believe me my mother had several. We now know it was UTI infections that caused her falls and dementia, but it took me a year to get a proper diagnosis. Have her checked regularly for UTI. Many times that is the root of dementia. Mother also got physical therapy and occupational therapy. Again, doctor's orders are the key to unlock all of these wonderful things.
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My mother received aid for the last six years of her life which greatly helped with her care. I also promised and cared for her, kissed her goodnight and found her dead the next morning in her bed at home at 104 yo (she lived with me at the end). Take this advice and pre-pay for the funeral. I was distraught and even though we had put back $7000, the very slick funeral director ended up selling me a more expensive casket because I didn't know any better. Back to Aid & Attendance, you need to show a record of her medical expenses (these can include her caregiver if she is unable to bathe, dress and prepare meals for herself or if she is shut-in or legally blind. You will need her caregiver to sign a letter stating the cost of the care to run the medical bills up to the amount she gets from Social Security. That should be easy to do with the caregiver.
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VA Aid & Attendance, not the VA healthcare benefits, so help for you to pay someone for inhome care, not for the VA themselves to send somebody. But I don't understand the 5 yr. thing; they normally do that themselves but that wouldn't be Medicare anyway, that's Medicaid, which even though she only has what she does; it's still too much for them, unless you can get her some type of waiver, which, actually if she's been evaluated as nursing home eligible you might be able to, but she might still have just a little too much, but if she's willing to go ahead and prepay her burial expenses, which, if that's all she has, I would, that would bring her assets down; they don't count it if it's already paid. Meals on Wheels shouldn't be an issue; has nothing to do with any of this other but dementia might be an issue with therapy; what kind are you wanting for her besides the music, which is nice but have never known of it inhome; can you find out more how those others are getting it.
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My answer to you is a big fat "YES". As long as your mother's assets do not exceed $80,000 and she is the spouse of a WWII veteran she is eligible for VA benefits. I applied for my 90 year old mother this past January. My mother's benefits were approved this month and we have begun receiving benefits. You have to be prepared to do the paperwork and believe me it's not the easiest thing I have ever done. You just have to persevere. I went to see a VA counselor in our town and he helped me get started. There is help. Go for it.
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Garden, its called cash and counseling. In Ma you can get 18k a year to take care of your own parent, not sure what other states but not mine of course.
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Reverseroles, I'm confused about who gives "children of parent caregivers 18,000 a year to take care of their parent at home."

I've never heard of this - is this through a state or federal agency?
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Thanks lindylu, my mom is 24/7 care and has been for 8 years now. Even if I got 4 free hours of care a day, it would be great. I could then use her ss and A+A for other helping times, like weekends so I can have a life after 8 years maybe? I could have applied a long time ago but who would have known my Mom would live this long, lol.
decatur, yes I left a job of 18 years and could have had a nice retirement. They gave me the choice to come back in 1 year to not lose it, but Moms still here all these years later. I sure hope she gets the medicaid waiver plan and the A+A so I can start once and for all, to have some real freedom . I have 3 adult boys and grandchildren that complain how I can never do anything, it hurts all of us. Fortunately, all birthdays and holidays are here because they know I cannot get out usually. IF anyone has more info, great, thanks.
rjc6511, here is the service you can contact and they can tell you where to get help if they cannot help you, its free. All States are different, I am 3 miles from another State Line that gives everything ! They even give children of parent caregivers 18,000 a year to take care of their parent at home.
Google-Elder Resource Benefits Consulting.
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Reverseroles, I think you are correct. My understanding is that the VA automatically stops paying the full pension and reduces it to $90/month only when the patient goes into the nursing home with Medicaid. I think the Choices for Independence is similar to PACE. It looks like it is funded by Medicaid so that people like your mom get the help they need but save the state money by not entering a nursing home (where Medicaid would be paying for 24/7 care + housing.)

We ran into this issue when we looked at PACE for my grandpa. We have been told totally different things by separate people within each agency. Many of these state programs to keep elderly out of nursing homes are relatively new (like within the past 2-3 years) and they are still working out the kinks, especially between agencies.

My guess is that the VA will re-evaluate what your mom's needs are after considering what the Choices program will pay for. So if Choices provides day aides, but your mom still needs night aides, you still have a high expense to income ratio. But that is just my guess after looking at this stuff on-line for the past year and from trying to piece together what we've been told by various people. I might be misunderstanding. However when we asked our geriatric soc. worker at our VA what their policy was she told us flat out, “I don’t really know” so I’m not the only one who’s confused.
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The hidden cost the general population does not know is the cost caregivers pay thru giving up employment. reducing employment, losing benefits, reduced retirement (or loss of) & social security, and the toll it takes on them...
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Ps no. We have never got anything free in 8 years, or any reduced anything. I quit my job when her money ranout 5 years ago to care for her full time. I will not use a nursing home. Thanks much
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She lives with me, cannot walk or talk. I puree her foods as she chokes and is incontinent. She gets A&A, just applied for choices for independence in the state of NH
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Is she receiving MEDICARE of some sort ,or on MEDICAID? Once on full MEDICAID there is a small monthly allowance only for personal things.
Is she on Hospice?. Without a full review of the situation it is not proper for me to be specific, She may be ,depending on state of residence be receiving some assistance with Medicare premiums or Rx plans?
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Reverseroles, look at Decatur's background. He's in this field as a profession, and has extensive military background.
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Decatur, I was told if my mom received medicaid she can still receive her VA check (A&A) because she needs 24/7 care at home. Where are you getting your info to say that because I have asked medicaid and also asked my VA person who did the application process with me. Thank you
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1. The benefit is paid to the veteran/surviving spouse account, NOT TO THE FACILITY.
2. The facility must certify ADL's are being administered.There is no requirement on the part of the Veteran/Spouse that the Facility "Must accept"; it does not go to the facility.
3. Once on Medicaid; the benefit , will not be paid into the account
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I went to the VA office with all the paperwork stating that both her husbands had served in WII and they were able to get me assistance for her. The home I had her in had to approve and accept it also. Most are willing to work with you. It took several months to get it. She was placed on Medicaid and received if I recall properly about 1100 per month toward her care. You may want to do checking there. I do have to state though that was 10 years ago and I have no idea if and how they still handle it. I would think that they do. Please ask for help.
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Reverseroles, what you are doing is wonderful, but i also know how hard it must be. Why dont you try hiring a private live in if you have the room. Then room and board could go to some of their work hours and then pay for some hours. Im sure u could find someone and come to an arrangement that help you without taking advantage of the live in. There are very good sites that do background checks on caregivers. Im not allowed to mention them here but if you PM me ill give you the name of the one I was hired off. You dont want to burn out. Bless you for all the wonderful care you give mom
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sherry1anne, i agree with you 1000%. I just wish I could get a live in that cheap, but they want $15 an hour so I only get 4 hours a day. I did apply for medicaids waiver for in home help, still waiting. Moms been here 8 years going on 9 years in Feb. She doesnt know me, cannot walk, talk, is incontinent, and I puree her foods and feed her. Regardless, shes here to stay. She knows touch, is safe, warm and loved and most of all, she laughs like hell with me and I dont even think she understands why, but who cares, shes happy.
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