My Father has dementia. His long-term companion of 20 years has POA and has been controlling his finances for four years. During that time he (she actually did this) purchased a house that has a mortgage in her neighborhood. He has a 401(k) and a savings account, VA benefits and Social Security. I was removed from being a POA two years ago when I questioned his and her decision about purchasing an additional house because I thought that the money should be used for his long-term care. Now I find out that she's using the POA to create a trust should the family be concerned? The family is basically kept in the dark about everything we know nothing about his accounts now and she is his primary care giver as she lives six houses from him and this was their agreement for his care. Two days ago she told me that she was creating a trust and told me that I was to be trustee so I could pay all the bills and also she requested that I take full responsibility for his health care and place him in a facility. I don't know what to do I'm out of state and I don't have POA for his healthcare. Also, he has dementia but doesn't want to leave his home. I think that since she has POA for his healthcare and she sees him every day that she should be the one that is discussing that with him. At this point I'm afraid to become involved with the whole situation. What should I do?

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More info....I'm 900 miles away. My sister and his care companion is there. Everyone expects me to come to the state and stay indefinitely to get my Father into a new care situation.
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Oklahoma, as for the POA creating a Trust, she can do that, and hopefully she is using an Elder Law Attorney to do the paperwork.   Having you as the Trustee is a good thing, if you wish to be part of the Trust.   If not, the Attorney can be the Trustee and payment will come out of the monies in the Trust.

Find out what attorney the companion is using and make an appointment to see him/her.   Then at that time, you also ask the Attorney about who is in charge of making arrangements for putting Dad into continuing care.... can you do it or is that the job of the Power of Attorney?

The best thing to do is to work as a team, if possible.   She has been with your Dad for 20 years, and that's a long time.   She probably is scared about his future and hers.   All of this can become so complex.  This isn't the retirement they had planned.
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