I have been away from Agingcare for a while. Things were going fairly well here so I took a bit of a break. But, things have taken a 'turn' and my MIL may or may not be able to come home from Swing Bed - if she cannot gain enough strength. I have told my hubby that I cannot care for a 220 lb. person who cannot help herself. I hurt my shoulder the first of this year and basically have a 'broken wing' and my hubby had rotator cuff surgery and does not have full strength in his arm either.

I would like to know if anyone knows if a person can be placed into a nursing home in another state? If my MIL needs nursing home care - we would like to have her to back to her home state (she has been with us for 8 years) - and be nearer to her youngest son. (it is HIS turn) :0(

Thank you all.

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Thank you igloo. Doesn't sound like this will be an easy task to accomplish :0( Getting the youngest son's cooperation may be tricky as well. He has not been at all forthcoming with ANY kind of help with his mom for 8 years.

We had just hoped that a move to a Nursing Home (if it becomes necessary) in HIS state would then allow him to have a share in her care.

He is coming to visit and we will share this info with him and HOPE FOR THE BEST.

Thank you very much.
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Ouch - rotor cuff. I hope DH is still doing the exercises they give him right after surgery every other day. Even if he is seeming to have a good range of motion.

I looked into my mom moving from TX to LA years ago and then we had the nothing but fun experience of my MIL moving from her NH in LA to TX after Hurricane Katrina.

If MIL is totally private pay for her needs, then you can move her easily whether it's into a private pay NH or hire a ambulance with a nurse to transport Mrs 220 to her youngest son's house or the new NH.

But if Medicaid is in her future to pay for her care, then it is more complicated.
They need to become a resident of the youngest son's state. Medicaid is a joint federal & state program but is admininstered by each state under their state specific rules. As such, Medicaid is first and foremost for residents of that state. That will mean that her SS and other retirement needs to go to a valid address in the new state and that she will need a bank account in that state. All this to clearly establish residency. If there is a bank that has a presence in your state and also in youngest state, I'd suggest that you go ahead and open an account for her in that bank right now at her current state address and then later it gets moved to the other state. So if say Bank of America is in both states, then Bank of America it is. This will make is much easier to do the change later on. You need to get everything direct deposit to this new bank too & again the sooner the better as there can be a month lag time to get this done & the old account closed out.

Now assuming that Sonny is OK on all this, he can either have his address as MIL's new address OR he can go an rent a postal mailing box for MIL. There are freestanding parcel & post mailing places or the UPS store in bigger cities that do this. I am a big fan of this as all the mail collects and then you can go once or twice a month to get stuff and then go over everything at the same time. Plus it keeps your life separate. He has a key and maybe you have a key if you all plan on monthly visits for a while.. He will have to open it though as they do a drivers license check (thank you, homeland security)

Now if Mrs 220 owns any tangible property in your state, like a house or car, this will be a problem for Medicaid. House or car is an exempt asset for the state in which she resides but if she moves they both become non-exempt and will keep her from Medicaid until they are sold with all the proceeds used on her care. So is there a car or house or other property owned by her? After Katrina, there were several ladies at my MIL's NH who still had their homes in the New Orleans area. Well State of TX was ok on this for about 6 mos after storm but then their Medicaid was declined as they were not residents of TX as of Jan, 2006. The NH didn't reopen but that didn't matter, it was owning property in LA that mattered. So either sell it and become a true resident of TX or move back to LA. Most moved back.

you can do a couple of other easy things to establish residency. Order some magazines for her and send to the new address. If there is an eyeglass place that has offices in your state and the new state, get new eyeglasses for her and have is so that the order shows her new address. Pharmacies too so move her Rx's to CVS or Walgreens or whomever has a presence in your city and then where Sonny is so that she can get her meds and you can easily do a change of address. Again this is all about establishing residency and a committment to live in the new state.

And last - this is kinda stretchy to do - Mrs 220 looses her ID or drivers license. She applies for a duplicate. Presto surprise she finds the old one but now has 2 legal ID's. One you keep just in case you need to do something in her old state with your DPOA and the other goes with her to turn in to get her new ID in youngest son's state. My MIL's NH staff suggested this after Katrina and OMG it made life so much easier to get things closed out and switched after the storm having her extra ID w/us. Good luck, keep a sense of humor; no heavy lifting!
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