Follow
Share

My father has been placed in an assisted living facility, locked memory clinic section by my sister who holds the financial POA. She refuses to let him out of the facility and the facility will not let him out either. My father only has some short term memory loss as his only deficit. The docs think he may of had a mini stroke around the time my mother, his wife of 56 years passed from cancer. My sister was given the financial POA to assist my father during his grieving time and till he could establish a routine for maintaining their finances, investments, properties.


Having her financial POA has just exploded into a huge problem. She has placed my father in this facility and absolutely refuses to let him out. He is independent and takes care of himself. Completely ambulatory and still has a valid drivers license. He drives better then most and can still tow and manipulate their 40ft fifth wheel with ease. Anyway he owns a house in town and I, his oldest daughter live next door to him. My sister had moved her son into my dad's house and has told my dad he will not be going home. My parents own my house that is next door that I rent from them. This arrangement was done by my parents 10 years ago and they did it on their own behalf as it was a great investment, cheap. And a way to get all family members in the same city. My sister is now giving me a 60 day intent to sell notice which my father does not want at all. She had just this weekend took his drivers license. We were going to have a notary come in and verify a new POA by my dad's request but can't now that she has taken his drivers lic. Which is needed by notary for verification. Can't take him to DMV for a new one cause she will not give permission for anyone to take him from the facility. I have read a number of liteature that states that no one can keep him there and he still has rights yet I have been told by the facility and by the counties ombudsmen that if I was to take him from the facility I would be arrested! What can I do to protect my dad's rights and wishes and keep my sister from basically holding him hostage. Of course most attorneys want money up front which I do not have and my dad has been locked out of all of his! Please please help me!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Wantwhatsright, please note that an Assistant Living facility would not accept your Dad if he was able to take care of himself. The short term memory may be more advanced then you think. Or your Dad has sundowning where he forgets where he is and starts to wander outside.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I read both questions and your profile. He cannot chang POA because he is incapatated so you would need to file for guardianship.

Do you realize that alcohol depletes b12 in the body? His 6 pack a night habit is making it worse. He forgets where he lives...seriously, your sister should have taken the license away. What happens if he gets impaired, drives and goes to the other house or worse yet hurts someone.

Your dad cannot take care of himself and you will enable him. While it hurts to put someone in a home, sometimes it is best. It is not about wants but realistic needs. As for your house, facilities are expensive and it will need to be sold for care before a Medicaid application can be done.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Contact Adult Protective Services and tell them of her abuse. They will open a case file to investigate.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Many attorneys will offer a free consultation.
I think I would call the local Area Agency on Aging and the Elder Abuse folks to see if they can help.
Be careful that your sister doesn’t block you from the facility where your dad is. She’s holding all the cards right now and you need to find out what you can legally do without making things worse in the process.
It’s good he has gained weight and the insufficient B12 can cause dementia symptoms.
I think you would agree he needed help. Your position is a bit compromised as well because you have been renting their home unless you were paying a fair market value while living there and can prove you were paying rent. Is your nephew paying rent?
Does your sister blame you for negligence? Was the implication that you were to be looking after him? Think of all the points she can make and why his returning to the same situation that wasn’t working before would be good now?
I know this is a difficult time and I’m sorry for the passing of your mom.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Call a lawyer,, if they think he has a case some will wait to get paid until it is settled. Also contact his Dr and have them verify he is competent to make decisions on his own behalf (hopefully he has given your name on his HIPPA paperwork) Does the facility have proof of who he is? they may be able to assist with the new POA ( although I get they may have a vested interest in keeping him there..) This is why you need to be very careful about the wording on your POA.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter