Need info on getting help for our father!

CaliSisters: Speak with his town's elder case worker and social worker, who should also be on staff. You and your sister are not able to care for him at home since you aren't medical professionals. That alone should be evident to the doctors insisting on this.

I sent you a private message.

Your Father should have a Social worker assigned to him that can give you information on services that are available to you. Also after a hospital stay of 3 days Medicare will pay for a nursing home stay for up to 30 days. This will give you enough time to find a service for help with him at home.

Apparently it's my sister who is wavering and not giving a firm NO! She's saying maybe... so then they talk about teaching us proper form for picking him up if he falls, etc. She seems to be realizing she has to be honest about the situation.

I also think my dad is finally realizing how serious his condition is too. He's finally calmed down enough to broach selling the house. It's also spurred him on to take his PT more seriously and hopefully he can get some strength back.

He's out of diapers and is able to use the bedside toilet with assistance from the staff.

One weird thing my sister told me when I visited last night is they refuse to give him his prescription pain pills. I don't know why that would be, but she's started sneaking one to him every day, which may be why he's suddenly able to tolerate the knee pain and walk a little. Is it normal to deny patients their pain medication?!

At least this gives us a little time to make other arrangements. I was a mess when I first came here... everyone has been so kind and helpful!! I'm feeling more hopeful that we'll be able to get in-home care or get him to accept he needs more care than that.

If he does get strong enough to come home, I'm going to insist my sister stop feeding him junk and see if we can get him down 100 lbs.

As for his insurance policy... my mom took care of that and we always assumed he'd go first since he's been in bad shape for years. But she seemed to think there would be some type of partial payment for increased care because she'd say with the insurance and dad's pension, they could just afford a basic place - though nothing fancy. I'll have to go through the paperwork and see what I can find.

Dgt 166, There are NO Medicare beds in a LTC facility. Those are Medicaid beds. Only facility care paid by Medicare is for rehabilitation which is short term care. Medicaid has strict rules for qualification. He will need to deplete his assets. Consult elder care attorney or your local Area Agency on Aging.