My aunt was with me temporarly cause she is going blind, has the beginning of dementia and was not eating or taking care her of meds, I brought her here temp. to find her a nursing home. Not knowing it was going to be a challenge. She fell and had surgery and ended up in a rehab nursing home for therapy. She has Medicare and Tricare but apparently not what she needs to get nursing home. The current nursing home is trying to send her here, I live in someone's else second level, she is in a wheelchair, blind and cannot be by herself. What do I do? They did not even give me 30 day notice. I have no place to take her. Her son is in Florida and just does not help.

You do what has been suggested.

Explain that you have no POA. The place you live is not conducive for someone who can't do stairs and is in a wheelchair. Her living with you was only temporary until a NH could be found. There is no way you can take her. Give them the son's contact info. He is the one who needs to be involved. Like said, if no one can take responsibility, then the court will assign a temporary guardian. I would think they can get to her finances to pay for her care. The NH made payee of her SS and any pension she has. If she needs Medicaid, then the guardian will apply.

I do have a question, how did you think she was going to pay for a NH? Did she have enough money for private pay? Which would be 10k a month, at least. Did you consider Medicaid? Are you on her bank accounts?

If she can afford private pay, then tell rehab that. If a NH is attached to the rehab, they can transfer her over. Or help find a place. Even if ur on her bank accts I would not write checks off of them, if ur not her POA.
Whether he likes it or not, her son will need to get involved.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29

DO NOT take her from the facility. You are under no obligation to. Politely tell them you are unable to care for her. The social worker there needs to do her job and work on getting her benefits to be taken care of appropriately. Just make sure they taking care of her safety. Follow Alva's advice and don't give in.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to mstrbill

Yes, they will attempt to get her "home" with whomever will accept responsibility for caring for her. You need to make it clear that you are not equipped to do that care. Tell them you cannot accept her into your care. It is that simple. Do not argue. Do not let them convince you that "we can make this work" and "we will send you help". They can't and they won't. You will need to let this go through the social workers where she is then. They are well educated and well equipped to find her care. Know that you cannot then participate in where she will be placed. She will become basically a ward of the state. The State will be her guardians. They will apply for medicare and handle things legal and financial. If you attempt to get POA and do these things yourself, or if you become her "guardian" and attempt to do these things be aware that they are full time jobs which require huge amounts of knowledge. Leave this to the "experts". Be willing to participate in plans of care and discharge, to visit her, to do everything that you can short of bringing her into your home. IF you bring her into your home be aware that there is little way out of that other than legally, emotionally spending huge amounts of time and angst to get things settled. It is a full time job.
Wishing you and your dear Aunt the best of luck. Know that the best you can do is to be there for her to visit. Know that they WILL be in touch with her next of kin in FL. That is fine. Let them work it out with him. Do not attempt to take this on, as it is a full time dedication.
Hugs to both your Aunt, and to you for caring. Know that there is no way to make this perfect, perhaps even OK.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to AlvaDeer
MaineCoast Sep 22, 2019
This is great advice. We have a senior healthcare system that is run by people who mean well but it is also stretched very thin. In many cases the staff is stressed and thinking only about their own situation and often not about what's best for our elders. This is because most agencies are on overload, the staff are not paid well for their work, and this case is just one more in a long string of cases and tomorrow there will be 2 more. It's important to be pleasant and engaged but firm about limits.
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She is currently in NH for rehab, being paid by Medicare, right?

Neither Medicare nor Tricare will pay for permanent long term care. You need to tell the SW at the current rehab that sending her to your home would be an unsafe discharge.

Staunchly refuse to sign the discharge documents. She needs to remain in her current facility as a long term care, Medicaid resident. Ask for the facility to assist you with the Medicaid application.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn

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