I have a 71 year old mom she currently moved in with me , I am newly divorced male no kids and I've never taken care of anyone , she's in good health, can do things on her own , what I've noticed is shes been forgetting things a lot and she gets angry at me saying I don't pay attention , and to make matters worse I'm unemployed and it's been financially difficult m, I have 3 sisters 2married and they have they're own issues so they can't help either m but they try as much as they can she's also a very controlling type of mom and loses patience very easy , some days she just gets really intolerable , no patience, irritated at everything we do , criticizes constantly , blames me for a lot , she is seperated from my dad , my dad was very controlling with her , so they're is a lot of dysfunction issues in our family , my sisters and we been discussing what do we do , we really are lost on how to get her help , she say she doesn't want to Goo to a therapist that she is not crazy , we just don't know what to do , we love her dearly , and she did a lot to take care of us so we can't abandoned her , so that's why I told my sisters that I live with her we live in a 2bedroom apartment , and me losing my job hasn't help , also due to the fact of the recession, my divorce , and financial difficulties i have issues that i need to work thru , and sometimes just feel like giving up i get bouts of depression/ anxiety , she gets bored easily and angry all the time so this is my reason of writing to get ideas from your community on how to get help for our case , thank you for reading this issue and thank god for places like this , looking forward to reading all your advices , again thank you and godless you with your assistance

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Yes, I would agree that getting your mom a thorough physical check-up with a doctor familiar with dementia would be a good place to start. If your mom does have dementia, you'll have to learn about how it affects people - there's a lot of good info on this site.

If she doesn't, then you need to start working on boundaries with her and creating rules about how you interact with each other. No name calling. If she gets short with you or critical, calmly leave the room or the apartment. Set bounds now about how you'll be treated or you'll be sliding down a slippery slope of abuse. But first figure out if she's got some mental issues going on that are beyond her control.
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I am concerned that you may be seeing early signs of dementia or Alzheimers with the anger and the forgetfulness and even boredom your mother is experiencing. The refusal to believe anything is wrong with her and refusing to see a doctor may also be another symptom of dementia/Alzheimers known as Agnosognosia. Please read this article, called "Understanding the Dementia Experience" so you can determine if your mother's behavior might in fact be symptoms of a form of dementia/alzheimers:

If you think they are, write a note to the doctor detailing these issues and ask him to test your mom for dementia/Alzheimers - don't ask the doctor in front of your mom, do it in a note and in the note, ask the doctor to keep this request confidential. Give the note to the receptionist to give to the doctor BEFORE he sees your mother.

I hope I am wrong about possible dementia/Alzheimers and that your mother is experiencing signs of depression or something else. But this does need to be addressed with a medical doctor.
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Getting old can be very frustrating, especially when I can't remember things. Go to the next doctor visit with Mom and see if he can prescribe a mild anxiolytic for her. You can't fix and old brain, but you can keep the anger from bursting forth. Your situation probably upsets her as well, we all want to see our children be happy. You probably haven't had a good checkup in a while and it might be a good idea to see the MD too.
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