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My mom has had issues with incontinence for years. She also has arthritis so it was difficult to walk but she at least would get herself to the bathroom. She was always a very clean person. Caring about personal hygiene. January of this year she was hospitalized with a kidney infection. ( She refused to go to see her doctor in a regular basis). When she came home from the hospital she no longer tries to walk. She says she can't. We have taken her to see her doctor and were told she would benefit from physical therapy to strengthen her muscles. She now will over flow her incontinence pad severely without even calling us for help. (She has an aide 24/7) She does not care if she is laying in her own urine. Yet complains of skin breakdown. She has had a few UTIs. She says she does not "feel" the wetness. Could this be true? She refused physical therapy. Does not want to go out anymore. I know she wishes she could just be in heaven like my dad and older brother. (Both died within a two year period) I understand this, yet she is healthy and prior to her being in the hospital would have gotten angry and fought to make her life hers, to live in her terms. To shop and do what she could and wanted to do.

My question is, if she has a 24/7 aide why are they not changing her on a regular schedule.

She may not be able to feel at this point, however, her aides are not doing what they are there for.

Most facilities toilet their clients every 2 hours, this should be implemented with your mom and call her doctor to find out how to heal the skin breakdown.

This is considered elder abuse and you should get on it, like right now.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Hi Luclylo,

You are experiencing the incontinence thing a little differently than what my mom is doing. But it sounds like incontinence is a common problem for us all.

My sister is with mom 24/7 living with her but will be gone for outpatient surgery soon in the evening and I will be there. I am very fearful as mom has sister lift her rear up from behind underneath straight up from seated position. I cannot actually do that. Mom resists doing what was taught well by PT (but just one visit) that she could do! Mom resists PT and hates exercise as she doesn't understand that movement actually helps a person feel better, poop better, sleep better, etc! She has never broken a bone but fell once last November. I offered to privately pay for some PT lessons but mom declined. She doesn't qualify for IHHS. So sister has been with her 24/7. Sister gets little sleep.

Mom still has my sister lifting her rear straight up. Mom called today asking me to help her when sister will be gone, and I told her I would be happy to help. I reminded her we should practice the commode and chair issues now to relieve stress that evening. She postpones the practice. I even have a video I took of her doing it PT for her to review but she hasn't wanted to.

Another problem is she asks for wine or other drink without eating something with it and that limits her ability greatly. She scolded me for being bossy but I do need to be bossy on some things as she needs to use walker or be moved in her transport chair which she thinks she doesn't need. I need her to try to help stand up with me since she insists on Poise pads that really don't fit her correctly as she wears them with underpants that are much too large around legs and just fit her waist. Mom can walk once standing, just slowly. She walks in house with me using walker but sister says with her she asks for transport chair mostly.

But I guess her wanting to control pottying issues is better than her just wetting herself. I wish I had an answer for your problem and mine both! Maybe someone else here will be able to enlighten us.

Prayers for us all!
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Reply to snowy1
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If you address your mom's depression with her doctor the incontinence issue may improve with her mood (through medication). My MIL has some cognitive issues and seems to not really read her body's messages like prior to her mental decline. I do think it's possible she doesn't feel it, but mostly maybe she just doesn't care. UTIs can amplify dementia symptoms or create them where none would exist, so getting on top of that may also help. I"m exploring a supplement called D-Mannose which was mentioned by AlvaDeer (?) as a very hopeful preventative for UTIs with no apparent downside. But speak to her doc first if you consider this. I'm not a huge proponent of supplements but I am in favor of whatever prevents UTIs since cranberry juice isn't doing the job for my MIL. Good luck and hope you get the solutions you and your mom need!
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Reply to Geaton777
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