She still cleans up her files, but gets confused with paying her bills. She gets her meds all confused and doesn’t take them sometimes which causes her to be mean, depressed and makes me feel guilty that I don’t spend enough time with her. Not true. I took her meds to keep track of them and she flipped out. What do I do?..

She lives with my husband and I. It's hard on both of us.

When she takes her meds correctly she is wonderful but will never admit when she misses taking them.

Never have seen such a horrible side of her!

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I know what you mean. My mom is 93 too, she wants to do everything by herself including the therapy -then messes up and is miserable, I'm miserable, everyone is.

What others suggested is excellent advice!

I resorted doing something similar, I brought my supplements and vitamins to her place and in the morning I casually give her her therapy while taking my tablets, trying to make it look something we are doing together. So far it has worked. Yes, you do have to take charge. The energy that takes to keep being in charge at all times, oh well that definitely requires extra supplements ;)
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Start with baby steps and maybe use the virus.
“We can’t go out or cause the delivery to have to deliver any more than absolutely necessary.
So Mom, I need to get a good idea of where we all are on our meds.
I’ve counted DH. I’ve counted mine, now I need to count yours.”
This way you will know how accurate she is on taking her meds. My aunt insisted she took her thyroid tablet every morning. I knew she wasn’t. So I counted how many were in the bottle and we consulted the calendar and it was clear that she had way too many pills leftover to be taking them everyday. We did it twice. Finally she agreed that she couldn’t be taking them every day if there were that many left over. She didn’t like it but she couldn’t deny it.

Enter the first pill box.
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This may sound stupid, but I can’t remember whether I have taken my pills, just like your mother. I swallow them all down together automatically at breakfast time, and then have no idea if I am remembering today or yesterday. I would be lost without my dated daily pack, that tells me if I am up to the correct day. Your post almost sounds like mother doesn’t have one of these. That’s the easiest thing to do first.
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Hi Perky! Everyday, make an announcement that it's time for everyone to take their daily vitamins! (meds too) You will take yours also. This will make it a family event/occasion. Maybe play a little song, to announce the "grand event". In other words, make it fun! When we were kids, my mother made everything fun, even the mundane drudgery of the day. Your mother is now the child and you are in charge. Have fun with it. Maybe even have prizes in a grab bag, once a week as something special for her! Your husband can be your "other kid"! He gets to grab in the prize bag too! Best of luck to all of you.
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Arwen31 May 2020
so sweet :)
Your doing the correct thing. Its time for someone else to manage her meds. My nephew lived with my Mom. He did her pill planner. He put it and her pills in a cabinet on a shelf higher than she could reach.

You need to do what you need to do. Its really hard when the tables turn. Mom becoming more of a child and the child more of the mother. U may want to have her evaluated. She may be showing signs of Dementia.
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