My mom has dementia and wants to feel useful, but can't really do anything anymore. What hobbies can I get her into?

Sometimes i seperate socks and have my mom help or laundry such as folding tea towels together. I unravel part of a ball of yarn and ask her to tidy it up with me. IPAD i play very simple, level one memory games - it seems to amuse her for a moment. Just pretend really with anything - ask for help and they are happy to be needed. Can you sweep this area? stuff like that. Even if they do the task badly, its ok. You can correct it later but anything to get them moving. It is hard because they loose interest but keep trying.

I encourage you to reach out to a Special Education teacher to get ideas for crafts.
There is always something some one can do when the activities are put at their level and they have the right support.

I bring over a lot of hobbies to my mom.
One year I brought a Styrofoam wreath and she wrapped all her Mardi Gras beads around the frame. She did so many beads it was too heavy to hang on the door lol. But, she loves that wreath and proudly shows it off too any visitor.
The following year I adapted (that is the key: I must learn and adapt, not her). I bought small 6" wreath frames, and she wrapped them as candle holders.

At Christmas I buy the cheap, dollar store ornaments and we string them on an untwisted wire hanger formed into a circle.

Currently, she's been happily shelling pecans and storing them in freezer bags for Thanksgiving.

Today, I tried having my mom do the sock matching task. Success!

I unmatched a bunch of socks in her sock drawer. I left the drawer open and pulled some socks out to put them on top of the dresser so she could see. She, on her own, saw the unmatched socks, proceeded to find the mates and put them together. Yay!

I have a feeling she'll find more unmatched socks tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after...

Inspired by this success, I am going to try having my mom fold small wash clothes. I'm going to buy a big stack of cheap ones.

Such a shame about the pictures. If nothing else, it would have been a fun activity to have her name everyone and learn a little bit about them, writing it on the pictures. Other family might have enjoyed it too.

When we were clearing out stuff at mom's condo after moving her to MC, I had hoped to find a lot of pictures. In particular I was hoping there was one of a particular person, who I think was a cousin. I wanted to see if there was a resemblance to my daughter, as mom started referring to her as cousin. Sadly I didn't find many. She had gone through a lot years before and made up albums for each of us with pix of us, which was nice, but where did all the others go? I can only think she tossed them. :-( She brought a couple of pix of dad and her brother and sisters (they are all gone), but there should be MANY more!

Similar happened with one of mom's cousins. She wasn't quite a hoarder, but she saved every greeting card and letter anyone sent and had lots of letters from her brother during WWII along with a number of pictures, etc. Her sister had bagged it all to trash it, but didn't want to spend the money to have it removed. My town still had a "dump", no charge and I had a pickup truck. About 5 loads later... Sadly it all went into the garage and although some bags were gone through, we were busy and there was no rhyme or reason to the bags, just stuff dumped in them. I wanted to sort through it all and save/donate the pix and perhaps the letters to someplace that might cherish them, so veteran's place or war museum. Over time they became musty, stinky and/or ruined and had to be tossed. I recall reading a couple of the letters and was amazed! When you watch old war movies and their speech/vocabulary seems odd to us, they really DID talk like that!

Gluing things on, or drawing designs on card stock bookmarks for gifts.

That's the way my mom is to. She sleeps a lot but wen she is up she always wants to help me do something. I give her clothes to fold not big or heavy ones just like towels and wash rags. I'm her24/7 caregiver and I get frustrated sometimes but then I remember that That's not her it's someone else. My mom has real bad problem with falling so if I'm downstairs and I hear the floor squeaking I come check on her and just bring some stuff to fold. She has no right in her right eye so doing puzzles and stuff aren't for her but she looks out the front door and can see car across the st that has a dent in it. Sometimes I take her out for a ride and we get chips and choc milk and this time of year she loves seeing the leaves change. Sorry probally not a lot of help. God Bless you and your mom.

Sort coins. Sort things by color. Try old ink pens to sort out ones that don’t work. Make cards for soldiers overseas or a veterans home.

I don't know about "hobbies". I've had many activities that I enjoy, but none that I really considered a "hobby". If she wants to feel really "useful" perhaps she could, with your help, write encouraging notes to family or friends. If not notes, maybe recorded messages, to grandchildren or other younger family members.

With long-term memory intact, you might help her recall memories of her family life or relatives. Perhaps young mothers might enjoy stories of her own child-rearing experiences, noting how things have changed (not evaluating child rearing techniques) just recalling typical childhood events. They might be encouraged to know how kids survive "in spite of...". To grandchildren: stories about her own childhood, especially telling what life was like when she was their age. They would be interested, perhaps, in what school and teachers were like when she was their age. Or tell of chores that were required of her as a child. She would, no doubt, need your guidance (maybe some unobserved editing). But she would be providing something of true and lasting value to others.

I used to read from books I knew my dad had one time enjoyed. He seemed to like John Grisham books at one time. I know that is not DOING anything, but when reading it seemed to involve his mind

Imho, there is a myriad of things that she could do depending on her level:
- Get a start on Christmas/holiday cards with applying return address labels, stamps and if she can handle it, signing the card and inserting it in envelope.
- Folding simple laundry items.
- Pretty adult coloring books.
- Easy games.

It just occurred to me when a few suggested making greeting cards or drawings, you could buy some inexpensive stickers like people who scrapbook use for their picture pages. I always thought those were so neat and fun to pick out and less messy than trying to use glitter as embellishments.

Love "Cece55's" socializing with dogs (of course that's if your mom likes dogs/animals). My mom is in a memory care unit at an ALF and the Activity Director brings her rescue dog who had been previously abused so it's been great for both my mom and the dog. She also has two-month old Boston Terrier puppies that she brings.

As I mentioned earlier, lots of great and some creative ideas given here by everyone who has commented and hope you will be able to find some things that will work for you and your mom!

My mother loves socializing with the dogs in the neighborhood. Several of her friends walk their dogs by her place and stop do she can pet the dogs and give them dog treats. It is a highlight of her day

My mom loves to fold clothes, especially towels. She folds the towels better than I do! Also the paint with water books are nice. I get them at the $1 Tree. Hope this helps.

Other than the usual folding laundry or finding things she can sort, about all I can think of is perhaps some simple board games she can play with the aide? Most likely the aides would be bored silly sometimes too - there are only so many "chores" to be done, with a lot of down time.

Draw greeting cards ( simple seasonal pictures and she can also color them) and mail to other family members who are shut in. The replies will delight her.

Ask if she will help you organize the kitchen, Would she please:
Fold the kitchen towels ( take them out of the draw and tossel a bunch of them first)
Organize the cutlery drawer: keep it easy for her (ie just forks, spoons, knives or whatever she is able to accomplish)

These can be done while she is sitting at the table.
They can to be done weekly (or daily if her memory is very short).
They can be done with you or while you are cooking.
They can be done while she or you both listen/sing to your family favorite songs.

Initially, I was going to suggest reading. But you already have tried that and it didn't work out well.
My Mom is in a Nursing Facility. From them, I've learned that Mom folded clothes, which is what she did when she worked. But the cloths she folded were towels, socks and maybe a few larger items. But it does make her feel useful.
One of the residents there has a duster that she uses to walk around dusting the facility, which makes her feel useful.
I don't know how advanced your Mom's dementia is, but if she's still living in her home with help, her caretaker should be asking her to help in doing the dishes, cleaning up the table after a meal, and just plain everyday things. Mom could pull weeds in the garden; or help prepare meals. The caretaker should encourage her to help with whatever needs to be done. Baking, cooking, cleaning, whatever! Mom might get tired and say that she's worked so hard today, which, yay, is what you want.
Good luck. I hope that you can find a caretaker that is willing to do these things daily. Then, when you visit, you can do the same. She needs to feel useful, even if what she's doing...isn't. Good luck. You can do this. We all have.

One other thing I forgot to mention earlier --

My mother's memory care has all sorts of activities for them to do, but none of them last more than about a half hour or 45 minutes. It makes the day go faster, but that's also about the length of the attention spans for any one activity.

Here's a link to the activity calendar for her place this month. I know it looks like an insane amount of activities, but know that every "social" at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. is just a snack time. They give them some fruit in the morning, and the afternoon one is a cookie or a piece of cake (before dinner, no less!). There's nothing especially social about those times, except they sit four to a table -- at least they did pre-Covid. I doubt they do that anymore.

You'll also notice they don't turn on the TV until 6 p.m., and that's only for an hour of any given movie they're showing. TV is confusing to a lot of people with memory issues, and they can't follow the story well, so try to keep the TV watching to a minimum. My mother never watches now because macular degeneration has robbed her of most of her useful vision, but even before then all she'd watch is Big Bang Theory reruns because she knew the story and what would happen. (My poor dad had to watch that show hundreds of times, bless his heart.)

https://files.constantcontact.com/3b7d1c26101/21b4ba36-e165-437d-a555-5edf2e640df0.pdf

When someone is experiencing pain, the larger the items they hold is easier. Such as silverware, pan lids, bowls etc. Hobbies maybe limited to things like kids puzzles the larger pieces. A large print deck of cards and play a matching game. On a table put out no more than 12 cards with a match as far as Letter or number. So she will have to find two queens or 2 sevens.
My dad liked to put boxes of cereal into airtight containers.
He also enjoyed thinking he was balancing a checkbook or coloring large pictures with larger markers not the skinny ones. We of course had washable markers. My friends mom liked to do finger painting, sorting out the family socks matching pairs, this was not doing anything more than making a match and folding in 1/2 as they were crew style. Have her organize a drawer in colors. Yellow shirts, yellow shorts, etc.
Hope you will find something she will enjoy or be good at.

My stage 2 Alzheimer FIL enjoys peeling potatoes.
My 95 year-old mom (doesn't have dementia) enjoys putting the clean utensils away. I just remove the basket from the dishwasher and place it on the counter. She sorts the utensils into their slots in the utensil drawer.

Honestly, think preschool or kindergarten activities. My mother paints or decorates flower pots, arranges flowers, and paints terrible pictures, which is heartbreaking because she was an artist.

Bring an inexpensive bunch of flowers every week and let her rearrange them over and over in a few different vases. When my mother still lived at home, I gave her a damp rag and set her to work dusting. Yes, she did a terrible job, but it got her moving a little bit, and she'd go over her knick-knacks and reminisce about them. Oddly, the one thing she loved to do was polish silver. She collected silver serving trays, and I'd set the silver polish in front of her and let her have at it cleaning those trays. Go through every picture in that house and have your mom identify who's in them. Write it on the back.

Your mom's hands might bother her too much some of those things, but you could try variations on any of those things. The fact that her house is already cleaned by someone else is irrelevant, as is the fact that no one will be getting served appetizers on silver trays, but it's something to do. She doesn't need to be entertained so much as to feel useful. Give her some chores and don't worry about how well they're accomplished.

The advice we were given is to present the person with familiar activities. So we provided pots, dirt and plants to someone so she could "repot" things. She also was given towels to fold. Or she was in charge of "making sandwiches" for lunch. Every day we had an activity on the refrigerator and she'd get up and check to see what to do today. It gave her focus.

By the time we started this, her ability to repot a plant was non-existent. And the towels always needed to be refolded- outside of her sight, of course. As the disease progressed, her interest in doing these things decreased. But as long as we could, we tried to make her feel like she was useful and contributing to the household. Everyone wants to feel like they are needed.

Busy work. Yes! It helps them keep mentally fit. Doesn't have to be perfect results. Fold small linens: washcloths, hand towels, pillow cases. Organize greeting cards by type or size. (wedding, birthday, etc.) Organize combs and brushes into separate small boxes. Separating pencils from pens. Simple tasks that get their hands moving. Can do same thing every few days. Hand movements will help keep hands limber.

Hi, my 93 year old mom with dementia loves to cut coupons.
She also folds anything! Keep a laundry basket of towels and give it to her to fold. Or washcloths, socks whatever. I have dumped full loads of folded clothes !
Sweep with swiffer or bissell or broom. Feather duster.

Dear "Onlychildbutnot,"

I haven't had a chance to read all the comments yet but, the ones I have read, have had some great suggestions.

I would look back at all the things your mother used to enjoy doing before developing dementia and see how each of them could be modified to make them simpler in some compacity. She might not be able to do something to completion, but that's ok.

My mom being in a memory care unit and basically bedridden has more limitations now. But, I knew she always like watching music programs on the PBS channel, so I brought her big screen TV and have it set for that channel. She always loved listening to classical music, so I went to Walmart and found a compact radio/cd player and set it to her favorite station (she doesn't know how to work the CD player anymore). She always liked to play little hand held games, so I went to Amazon and found her favorite Poker game and I've been hearing that she plays it a lot now. It's harder for me because I can't go into her apartment and do things with her.

Just like you I tried the word search puzzles, magazines (which I think actually ended up in the reception area for those in the AL part to enjoy and some are quite expensive) and travel books with lots of pictures.

So the only thing I can think of in your case would be to buy a simple craft that maybe the two of you can work on together. With Christmas coming up we used to buy the small kits of a stained glass type looking tree ornaments. You just paint the colors where they tell you and bake them in the oven to harden, add the little hangars and put them on the tree. I have so many of them as keepsakes of all the times my mom and I spent making them together.

As I mentioned in a reply to someone else's comment, I use the Aspercreme with Lidocaine on my strained wrist and forearm from heavy typing and it helped tremendously.

Good luck to you and your mom!

Think of a very young child - what would you give him/her to do to keep occupied? --- that is safe. It is the same situation. Have her organize something that doesn't need to be organized. Have her fold napkins or towels.

When my dad had dementia, he loved placing batteries in/out of flashlights until they worked. He'd also chew gum & use a squeeze ball while listening to his favorite music as dementia increased.
My mom is not as far along with her dementia, so she finds tasks like these boring. She lives in assisted living but doesn't play along with their ideas. She cleans, cleans, & cleans to pass her time & feel useful. Being lonely simply enhances her complaining, unhappy nature. I've searched for activities but unless she's "working on her chores", she's absolutely bored & miserable. Thanks all for suggestions & praying for you, OnlyChildbn.

At my Mom's memory care, they encourage the residents to fold towels, pillow cases, etc. When she first arrived 3 years ago she said, "I pay them enough, I should not have to do that!" We all enjoyed a laugh. She does help them "sort" buttons, socks, greeting cards, colored 3x5 index cards in whatever fashion she wants. She seem to like arranging artificial flowers in different containers. Her facility has the advantage of group activities, rolling a ball back and forth, following the director in chair exercises, playing bingo and singalongs. In a private home there is much less stimulation. My heart breaks with each skill she can no longer use, she has reached the point where she has no idea who she is, where she is, who I am and gratefully what is going on in the world. I have not seen her up close since March. Her memory, sight and hearing are so bad " virtual visits" don't work. Sorry to say, in time your Mom will possibly not be able to express her need to feel useful.

can she fold simple things like towels........they aren't as tiny as crochet.  how about watching some "old" movies?  looking at some old pictures.  its hard to get them involved. wishing you luck.

It sounds like she may have some arthritis in her hands. I use a natural cream from Living Well that helps sore muscles and joints called Rub On Relief. But I'm sure there are other products out there too that may help. If you could decrease the pain she has in her hands it would make a huge difference in what she can do.

Having useful work can be very calming. It can be something as simple as folding plastic grocery bags, even if you need to sit with her and prompt.

If she actually wants to crochet, there are ergonomic crochet hooks available with soft, fat grips. You will need to start the first few rows for her. Chose a solid, light color yarn that’s easy to see. Start lap blanket (~3x4 feet) in simple double crochet so there’s no need to count or follow a pattern. My grandmother, a life-long crocheter who was seldom without a project to work on, made many simple blankets this way.

Eventually Gram was reduced to just winding skeins of yarn into balls. It was a familiar task and it satisfied her need to work after she could no longer crochet. You can donate the balls (with the original labels) or unroll the balls into a dishpan or bucket to be rewound. Several colors of yarn make for a satisfying display of a job well done.

Gram was of the generation that was never idle. I remember her telling how she’d do her ironing in the afternoon while watching her soap opera. If she finished before the end of the program, she’d iron diapers to justify the time.

Shredding papers is fantastic. When dad lived with me we even took in papers from neighbors. In some places, you can recycle the shreds. I used it as bedding in the chicken coop, where it composted nicely.